Sunday, May 24, 2009

Barfight, Gunshot, Mauling, or Slim?


barfight
Originally uploaded by ninjapoodles
I just had some pesky skin cancer (basal cell carcinoma; don't get nuts) removed from my neck, and the resulting wound is a bit more than I'd expected. The mole itself was smaller than the end of a pencil eraser, but the plug they removed from my neck was much bigger than that. And it HURTS.

Anyway, every time I pass a mirror, I'm taken aback at how awful it looks right now. And I know that for the next 10 days, I'll be asked about it. A LOT. I've always kind of hated explaining my various medical infirmities to all and sundry. Something about an injury/condition being visible seems to give anyone you run into the urge to ask you about it. (Don't believe me? Start limping just a little, and be amazed at the numbers of complete strangers who ask you why.)

So I'm trying to decide on a colorful story to go with my new distinctive marking (which, at this point, might as well be an eyepatch). Feel free to vote for your favorite, or add your own.

A. Barfight
B. Gunshot
C. Mauled by the Lonoke County Bear
D. Messed around with Slim
E. Other (please describe)

32 comments:

  1. I'd totally go with the "Twilight" craze and say a vampire did it...preferably the delicious Robert Pattinson.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lonoke Co. Bear was my submission, so that's my vote!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Barfight, definitely a barfight.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'Barfight' is always funny, and usually seems to shut people up.

    I hope you heal up quickly, Belinda!

    ReplyDelete
  5. How about, some crazy bitch at Target just CAME AT ME and tried to start a cat fight? RAWR!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Other:

    Visually impaired vampire

    ReplyDelete
  7. How about "extra in the new HBO series, True Blood"?
    (Love those books, am liking the series,too!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Messed around with Slim. Hands down best answer especially for the region you live in.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oooooh.

    E1. You were abducted by aliens who put one of those X-Files tracking thingies in your neck. Fox Mulder just visited you to remove it.

    E2. You were helping the Bennet Sisters (http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347) fight zombies and you were clipped by an errant machete.

    E3. Dracula came to take you as his latest bride, but Alex and Bella fought him off with the help of your Ninja Poodles, Attack Turkeys, and Sniper Chickens.

    I could come up with more, but I'll step aside and let others have fun with it too. :-)

    E3.

    ReplyDelete
  10. E1. Chupacabra.

    E2. Bitch poured BEER on my WEAVE.

    E3. Chickens. Goddamn chickens.

    E4. Pumas.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You did your neighborly duty by offering your neck up to next-door neighbor Dr. Frankenstein, who is interested in various methods of stitching up human skin...

    ReplyDelete
  12. You were noodling for catfish and one got you!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You were noodling for catfish and one got you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mouthed off once too often about how terrible Twilight was.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'd go for E. things got a little out of control in the bedroom...wink, wink.

    ReplyDelete
  16. There was a saying that my family used to laugh off strange injuries "...got into a hatchet fight without a hatchet!"

    ReplyDelete
  17. Barfight.
    And say "But you should've seen the other woman at the end of the fight!"

    ReplyDelete
  18. I ditto slackmistress's Vampire suggestion- 2nd choice- bear or better yet, Chimp :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. A rabid rooster. I've seen their work before and it looks a lot like that.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey, I came over here to tell you that I found something that reminded me of you:
    http://www.superpoop.com/archives/2009/May/?#158

    But then I see it in your sidebar, so I guess you already knew :)

    Erika

    (Oh, and I vote for barfight.)

    ReplyDelete
  21. E. Other (A wee bit too caught up in Twilight, I say)

    ReplyDelete
  22. lonoke county bear.

    why?? because i love bears.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was going to say something about Edward Cullen... then I thought, "yeah.... let everyone know that you are a nerdy mom who totally loved that teeny bobber book...."

    ReplyDelete
  24. A hickey that went awry. *grins*

    ReplyDelete
  25. E. Just say you cut yourself shaving.

    I had my thyroid removed a few years back and my scar was right-smack-dab in the middle of my throat. When people would ask me what happened, I would muster up the most sincere face, and most sincere tone of voice, then say "I cut myself shaving." The looks on these people's faces was priceless. Believe me, they won't know how to react.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just stopping in to say I miss you, here and on Twitter. Hope you're doing well and things are good. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  27. If you could please incorporate "midget wrestling" and "Black Panther activities" into the barfight I think you'd be onto something.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I found something that is amazing with helping scars. Email me and I can send you some before and after photos and information on it. I don't know what gets blocked on my comments.

    ReplyDelete