Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Don't Say You Didn't Ask For It

Because you totally did. I'm still in the honeymoon stage with my new Prescriptives products, and Philosophy is still on probation, so I'm not ready to make any firm pronunciations on how I feel about things. Also, I've decided that I need to get back on The Magic Oil That Heals All Ills, and try to treat this uber-dry situation from the inside as well as the outside, so I want to give that another month and then re-evaluate. But because you, Internets, are some pesky buggers, let's just go on and paste our big red naked face all over the tubes. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

1.  raw in every sense of the word
See what we're dealing with, here? No, that is not acne or a form of rash. It's just what I mean when I say, "My skin is DRY." My skin is DESSICATED. If you've ever gone snow-skiing, and had a really bad windburn? It is just like that. All the time. Also, somewhere, my mother and especially my grandmother are DYING RIGHT NOW. Also, see that weird face I'm making, where it looks like I may have had a slight stroke, and one eyebrow is up and one eye is wider than the other one, and how I should never be making that face, ever? Well, get used to it, because I'll be doing it again.

Oh, that picture was right out of the shower, and after I'd applied Philosophy "When Hope Is Not Enough" moisturizer, and let it absorb for maybe 3 minutes. Next, I applied the ridiculously-named "Magic Illuminating Liquid Potion," from Prescriptives. I suppose "Sparkly Green-Tinted Lotion" wouldn't sell as well. See the sparkles?

lotion iridescence
Already, I am uncomfortable, because if there is one thing I do not like in my beauty products, it is sparkle. I am a matte kind of girl. But in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.

2. magic lotioned.  Also practicing for my mug shot.  And somebody kicked my puppy.
Here I am after applying the sparkly (I'm sorry, Firefox Spellcheck, but I am NOT going to spell that word "sparkley," because in my head it only has two syllables; I am not pronouncing it "sparkle-ee") lotion. I'm already more shiny than I like to be, plus I'm obviously imagining that someone is kicking all the puppies of the world, AND I am rehearsing for my celebrity mug-shot, as well. The left eye has calmed down a bit, but that eyebrow is still looking like it might go renegade. While seeing these pictures on the interwebs, my mother's probably OK by now, but my grandmother is still DYING.

On a serious note, the redness does seem to have abated a little, doesn't it? And that effect got stronger after it absorbed a bit more. But onward, ever onward, to what I told you was The Darkest Foundation I've Ever Purchased In My Life, and...

3. with foundation
Yeah. Still pale--oh, excuse me, I mean fair--as can be, but without the ruddiness glowing through from beneath, like when Rudolph's jerk of a dad rubbed bootblack or whatever on Rudolph's nose to keep it from glowing, and it always rubbed off and made Jerk-Santa say, "SHAME ON YOU" for producing a freak-fawn to Rudolph's dad. I may be reading too much into this at this point, but as you can see, it's a painful subject. Oh, yeah: This is Prescriptives "Virtual Youth Lifting Moisture Makeup," a name which bothers me not only because it is FIVE words on a tiny little bottle, but also because that is a jumble of adverbs and adjectives (not to mention another noun) used to describe a noun, and it offends me. I'm sure the marketing team at Prescriptives just felt a disturbance in The Force. Crazy eye back, grandmother likely breathing into a bag but doing better.

And this is where we get into the very, VERY bizarre Prescriptives "Magic Liquid Powder." The name is better, and it fits, because unless you are an alchemist, this stuff IS magic. Mainly because while it is CLEARLY powder, when you apply it, it is a liquid. And then it finishes dry. Hey, I'm just giving you the facts. A week later, I still have not gotten the hang of applying this product. It should come with detailed instructions. I had no idea how much was enough, or how much was too much, although I DID have a decent Popeye impression going by this time. For real--WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH MY FACE?

4. powdered
Also, I am hypnotizing you from this picture. You will each send me $10 toward a MacBook Air, or I will come put my sparkly white face VERY CLOSE TO YOU. Better make it $20; readership has fallen off lately. Plus I'll need some extra for my Grandmom's new heart medication, because she is trying to figure out how to delete these pictures from her own computer right now.

And just to see how very far off I was with the tone of my previous powder, here is old and new side-by-side: way-too-pinkish old stuff on the left, new witchcraft powder-liquid stuff on the right.

For comparison

And here we are all finished with the face now, and taking a split-second to breathe before tackling hair and wardrobe. Grandmom, you can breathe again.

5. all done except for hair and clothes
Again--there is more shiny here than I like, but it's better than blotchy and red, so at this point, I'm taking it. And makeup apparently eases my chronic Spaz-face.

I'm still having trouble with breakthrough dryness. In other words, after a while, all the moisture I applied to my skin when I started is fully absorbed, and the surface smoothness gives way. But it does last for a little while, and even when it starts to go, you still have to be pretty close to see it. I think. Here's a picture Bella took from the backseat of the car about 2 hours later, in more natural light (though she insists on using the flash), and when I hadn't touched anything up.

6. two hours later, by Bella
As you can see, the cure for red and splotchy is obviously green and sparkly. Wouldn't be my first choice, but it's better than what I had going on before.

So, I'm adding the essential fatty acid supplement (and figuring out how what effect that has on my caloric intake, so I don't stop losing weight), giving it another month, and reevaluating at that time. So far, I'm optimistic about both the Philosophy moisturizer (which, yes, for the ingredient list, is WAY overpriced) and the Prescriptives voodoo. We shall watch, and wait. But not post any more pictures like this for a long while.

And now? I DARE YOU to do this same thing with your beauty regimen. Chicken.

32 comments:

  1. I found out at the Food Show that hulled hempseed is high in Omega 3s and 6s and it tastes just lovely, like pine nuts.

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  2. I am constantly in awe of how brave you are on your blog! I'm also loving you for testing out all these skin care products so that lazy/cowardly people like myself can just take your suggestions and run with 'em.

    In related news, I recently switched up 99% of my beauty routine, but I hadn't ever thought to let other people benefit from reading about the experience on my site. Hey-o. I are slow.

    Anywho, just thought you should know that you're my hero for the day. Feel free to make yourself a sash to wear in honor of this joyous occasion.

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  3. Essential fatty acids actually should help with the weight loss. Those Omega-3s and Omega-6s actually help you lose weight.

    Brave to do that whole bare naked face thing... I'd do it too, except I'm always bare naked face.

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  4. maybe I should post my embarrassment of a face, so that at the very least people can advise me on what NOT to use ("gah! Why with the 99 cent eyeliner?").

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  5. AH AH! My skin is out of nowhere doing the dry thing too! All under my nose and on my ring finger! It's an EPIDEMIC! Like, I look DISEASED. It's not sexy.

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  6. You are so awesome!!

    I don't have the 'red skin' to post, because I figured out how to combat it well enough that I don't have it at all now, really.

    But I can say that I do have my little magic green cover-stick that goes under the coverup and foundation when I need to hide an outbreak or red-splotch.

    Green == redness fighter.

    I'll get on this, but that means I have to do it on a day when I'm going to actually wear makeup!
    Pretty much, most days I go without, or with just eyeliner and mascara.
    I only wear base about 12 times a year or so.

    Oh - but I'm a rabid fan of Olay Regenerist too... nothing EVER felt so good on my face as that.
    I've been using it daily for 3 years now!

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  7. You are amazing. Truly. Brava!

    (I'd post my makeup regimen, except, you see, I don't have one...)

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  8. I've taken flaxseed oil for dry skin,and while I didn't see a dramatic improvement, it did help. (And it didn't affect my weight at all.)

    I don't have a beauty regimen to speak of. The fewer products I put on my face, the better. I have dry skin with occasional acne (I also have a touch of rosacea), and the only thing that works for me is a moisturizer with Salicylic acid. (Right now I'm using Kiehl's)

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  9. U r hott. Truly.

    For the liquid/powder deal, try either a big fluffy brush (duh, I know) or a fan brush, the kind you might use for foundation. Target has them, in the Sonia Kashuk line, for not much (and they're nice brushes, really).

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  10. Fine, I clicked through, even though you've got your feed set to full. Anything for those BlogHer page views.

    I am still trying to find a new job, so no pics yet, but as soon as I give up the ghost and become a full time freelancer, I will post some pics of my makeup-abhorring face. I can just hear my pores right now... "can't breathe!"

    You're a much braver woman than I, and much better at the makeup thing, too.

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  11. HOLY HELL, Belinda. That stuff IS magic! It's like... red here... all smooth and pink like a baby's bottom over here. That's amazing!

    I have redness problems, too, but I'm acne-prone. My solution is to just wear NO make-up at all, lest I aggravate my already beleaguered pores. Which is why I often resemble that stunning combination of 12-year-old girl and senior citizen. Seeeexxxxxay!

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  12. I think you look fantastic. I'd do the same...except my beauty regime is wash/moisturize/go.

    Very boring.
    Except sometimes when I feel sassy & put on some mascara. ;)

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  13. That's incredible. Like, infomercial before-and-after incredible. I am super-impressed.

    I can't photos of my beauty regimen. But here it is:

    1. wake up late
    2. jump in shower, shiver for ten minutes as room slowly warms up for lazy husband who will benefit from steaming i've given it
    3. wrap towel around head
    4. wake up toddler, dress toddler, pack snack for toddler, get toddler into snowsuit
    5. put on coat
    6. realize am still wearing towel on head
    7. stuff hair into ponytail, still wet

    You'll see that there is NOT ONE WORD in there about even basic moisturizing. So I will probably look like a teabag by the time I'm forty.

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  14. I thought about doing this, but my before and after photos look exactly the same. :-)

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  15. What a cool and brave post. I have the same problem with redness and I love hearing about real people using products as opposed to only the manufacturer's claims!

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  16. Belinda.... you look fan-freakin-tastic! And I love your MaMA and GrandMaMa references!

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  17. While I should be working, I find myself engrossed in this post.
    Fabulous results! Thanks for sharing.
    I also use a green tinged powder on my red, ruddy face. It is especially red and ruddy right now in the Frozen North. I also have the effects of soaking up too much sun as a youth.
    Currently, I use an Aveno mositurizer. *shrug* It's ok.

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  18. I might post my make-up routine, but that only happens when I do to church or out. For work it is more like shower, put gel in hair, a little Clearasil on certain spots, chapstick on the lips and go. I do put moisturizer on when I get to work so that the Clearasil has time to soak in and work:o) I will let you know if I put something about this on my blog.

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  19. I'm highly impressed. Of course I'm impressed by the fact that you went into a store and bought all that stufff in the first place. No way I could do that.

    My beauty routine consists of washing my face. Right now I'm testing out a free sample of some product called Regenerist that is supposed to tighten up the skin sag. So far, nothing. I think I need a Lifestyle Lift.

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  20. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!

    I just don't know that I have enough balls to take you up on your dare!

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  21. You are right. I am a chicken. No way I'm flashing these dark circles to the world. If I put on makeup without under-eye concealer, I look like the Emperor. Yellow's the cure for purply blotches, right??

    You have me laughing out loud every time I read your blog!

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  22. mousewords: "The Emporer." BWAHAHAHA. And also, we are incredibly geeky, you realize.

    sam: seriously. It's liberating. And if I'd seen someone else do it a year ago, I could have saved a lot of time!

    margalit: The purchasing, it was the hardest part. But I can't keep going around looking like I have been, in the workplace. My mom reminded me that I spent a LOT more on prescription treatments from the dermatologist that did not work at all, so I'm trying to look at it that way. At home? Yeah, wash, moisturize, and keep moisturizing throughout the day.

    kim: If I worked where you work, and lived where you live, you would ONLY see makeup on me at church! Smart girl.

    michelle: This is exactly like cold-weather windburn. Exactly. Hurts, even. Before, I was using moisturizers and supplementing that with 1% hydrocortisone cream 2-3 times a week. NOT GOOD.

    annabellee: Well, you know that a PROPER Southern lade never appears in public without at least a little powder and lipstick. Guess that makes me WAY improper!

    jill: I'm hoping I'll also hear about other products. That maybe cost less. Because those three products cost way too much. But like I said above, still way less than the prescriptions I had before, even just the co-pays.

    dave2: But that would be AWESOME. "I look this good NATURALLY."

    hannah: Just one thing--I WAS A NON-MOISTURIZER IN MY YOUTH. Up until my mid-thirties. Scared yet?

    aka_monty: But you are gaw-juss. So whatever you're doing, it's working, right?

    mir: This problem has had me makeup-free for the last year, at least, because everything I put on there aggravated my skin. Even most moisturizers, because they tend to contain fragrance (WHY?!?!). Maybe I can go out in public now.

    bipolarlawyercook: Either brave, or just-don't-give-a-flip-anymore! ;-)

    susan: Thanks for the brush recommendation. I was using a tiny one. Additionally...U R.

    kathy: I'm overwhelmed at the abundance of contradictory EFA info out there, so I'm trying to figure out the best combo of flax, primrose, fish, etc. It's confusing!

    erin: Ha--naturally beauty, then!

    geekmommy: Olay Regenerist DOES feel wonderful. It's what I was using before. You're right, it is totally soothing and wonderful. It just isn't hardcore enough for my skin, sadly.

    queen of spain: Hmmmm...nose rot, finger rash...nope, doesn't sound good! Heh. Your skin looks perfect, though. At least it did in July, if you haven't wrecked it since then. ;-)

    giddygirlie: I am all ABOUT the 99-cent eyeliner. And Revlon lipstick.

    debra: Thank you in advance for all the hits I'll now receive for repeated use of the phrase "bare naked." ;-)

    rachelskirts: You impossibly young woman, you. To you, I say, TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT NOW. Nobody told me that 20 years ago. But 15-18 years from now, all of a sudden, something happens, and DANG. Busted skin. You are too lovely for such a fate.

    sueb0b: mmmm...pine nuts. Where do you buy hemp seeds?

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  23. green and sparkly voodoo doesn't sound very marketable. But, your pictures do!

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  24. The hey? I commented here but it didn't post. Wah. I said you are stinkin' adorable. And something else I can't remember, but I bet it was amazingly profound.

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  25. I love how people almost always don't smile in the before pictures but will smile, even slightly, in the after pictures!

    You look great!

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  26. Just subscribed. I admit that I didn't read the whole post - I just skimmed parts - but why do I have this sudden urge to take two ten dollar bills out of my wallet?

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  27. Love it!! I have the same skin issues you do, and now I am going to look into the green sparkly voodoo stuff...LOL

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  28. Wow, that stuff works great! Maybe I'll put a tip jar up on my site for some makeup magic. I need help, peoples!

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  29. You look great...my fair skin has a lot of red like yours because of rosacea. A prescription cream has really helped. You look great, and I have to say...you and your beautiful little girl look so much alike!

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  30. I really like the Prescriptives line. DHC also makes good, inexpensive "color correctors". There's green for severe redness and yellow for moderate redness. I use the yellow one around my eyes when my allergies act up, and it really helps.

    I love your blog.

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  31. You're so adorable I could pop. I see why Bella has such an amazing face! I'm a wee bit terrified to do the same thing. Mostly because the before/after pic isn't as dramatic. I'm usually looking a wee bit tired regardless of what I do. ;-)

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  32. Lotion and spahkels should not be mixed! Ugh. DH accidentally bought some from Aveeno once. Just when our oldest started to fall in love with everything spahkwee. One night, just after he put the lotion all over his face and leaned in to get all romantic I lost it, laughed to hard and totally ruined the moment when I told him he was all spahkwee. He gave it to our daughter.

    Love this post, btw.

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