Thursday, November 22, 2007

You Were Looking For Sentimentality?

Wrong address. At least today. We just got home from Turkey Day with the fam, and I've got 30 minutes before NABLOPOMO is "BLOwn." Fortunately, I am married to a walking cornucopia of blog-fodder. You might say he's The Godfather of Blogfodder. But then someone would smack you, so don't.

In the last month, it seems like I can't open a magazine without seeing one of my of the ones I've met in PERSON, even! First, Carmen is featured in Real Simple. Then, Kyran gets an article published in Good Housekeeping. And then the other night, I see a full-page, glossy magazine ad for the Nintendo Wii, featuring Tracey and her family (that one has appeared in at least two major magazines, 'O' and 'Real Simple'). Holy cow! The whole world is getting published, in one form or another!

I show the article to Alex, and, laughing, say (I wince to quote myself), in full Arkie twang, "I ain't in no magazine. How come I'm not in a magazine?"

To which my husband replies, without a lost moment, "I can't imagine, Honey. You practically OOZE sophistication and class."

And no, I don't have any material that seeks publishing, or any photographs worthy of same. I just want to be, I dunno, in an ad for BaconSalt or something. But, as you may have already gathered, unlike my delightful friends, I ain't in no magazine. Their loss, obviously, as my presence would surely move many copies of Hillbilly Living. Go ahead and laugh...we'll be busy producing your presidential candidates. That and soybeans.

When I walked into this room at 11:29 PM, and tried to tell Alex that he was going to be contributing to this post, I didn't even get that far. I said, "You know, it's a good thing I'm married to you."

Without even looking up, he said, "You got that right."

If you want Thanksgiving material, try a previous year. Better yet, go read read this piece that Kyran wrote last year, which was published in the Globe And Mail. See? Published! Again! Does NO ONE want to hear about my fascinating joint pain, or see me make biscuits? Shoot.


  1. you had me at "bacon salt."

    Good Housekeeping, actually, which is ironic because I don't possess that at all. and i still don't know how it happened.

    but, wait! weren't you on cnn or ap or something as a leading expert on transgendered bulls a while back?

  2. I would only be published in something called "lifestyles of the dullest and most ordinary" or maybe "rednecks weekly".

    So with that in mind, know that you'll never be the very last person on the internets to get published. That place is reserved for me. :)

    Hope you had a happy turkey day! I was wishing I had some of your sweet tater rolls.

  3. Hey, thanks for consistently cracking me up!

    Your twitter fans missed you today...especially your commentary on such important topics as reality television, redneck vs. yo mama jokes, and, of course, 17th century English literature!

    Happy (late) Thanksgiving to You and Your'n!

  4. I always wonder the same thing and then I think, oh, maybe those people actually SUBMITTED well-written things somewhere. I suppose MAYBE I could try to do that too -- you know, one of these days...

    But you rock. Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. Ooops, off to correct magazine title--sorry, Kyran!

    And you're right. Why, I still have that "Blogger Is Bullish Over Basic Anatomy" post that was picked up by the St. Petersburg Times.

    And! Staci! I didn't even have to submit it! Downside would be that I also didn't get paid.

    I think that, to post things as thoughtfully and carefully crafted as Kyran's writing is just another level. For me, it would be difficult, sweat-inducing work to have to be that careful, that PROPER, technically, content aside. I think it comes more naturally for gifted writers like Kyran. Blogging fits my style because as long as I spell things correctly (although I don't use spellcheck because I hate it, so typos do get through occasionally), I don't really stress over correct grammar and syntax and thesis format.


  6. Belinda, I always want to see your biscuits. (Umm, wait, that didn't sound the way I meant it to.)

  7. I think you should ask Alex to help you write an article for a magazine. I'm sure it would be the bestselling magazine issue EVAH!


    I wood so reed ur artikul if'n you'uns got puhbleesh'd. I luv mah feller Arkansas'ns.

  9. Well, even though I'd rather be published for my wirting, it was fun being "the talent" playing the Wii. I'm thinking we got picked because my husband looks hot but hey, riding on the hubby's coat tails ain't so bad. Especially for Oprah. ; )

  10. Stella at ZenProof, too.

    Her's was the newest issue of Modern Bride...a whole spread on her wedding.

    I know? What is it w/ magazine articles lately??

  11. WAIT! I think I'd marry you for biscuits and your CHEESE bread!

    You are too funny, Belinda, and will be discovered soon. Pinky swear.

  12. I think you should be published soon, I just don't know where. If there is any justice in the world, you'll be published.
    You WILL have to include your quick thinking husband in your writing, however. "You just OOZE sophistication and class" That's great!

  13. I dunno about the joint pain, but because of you, I bought myself a Neti pot.

    Though I've yet to use it. Also because of you (and your pictures).


  14. you're in the magazine of my life.