Some interesting moments with my child lately--and to think I've been concerned about her being overly influenced by her uber-conservative preschool. Not to worry, apparently.
First, one day she wanted to watch "Crashbox," an educational children's show on HBO Family. So when I went to turn on that channel, I missed it by one, and hit regular HBO, on a scene in "Lost World:Jurassic Park ," featuring Jeff Goldblum's "Ian Malcolm" character onscreen having an argument with his daughter "Kelly", played by Jessica Lee Chester, in the presence of whoever Julianne Moore was supposed to be playing. Anyway, in the space of that 30 seconds, in which no one is referred to as "Dad" or "Honey," or anything like that, Bella somehow knew that Kelly was Malcolm's daughter, I guess just by the dynamic between them, and told me, "Mommy, that man's daughter is being good to him." I was slightly surprised that she'd identified Kelly as the daughter, since, firstly, Julianne Moore certainly looked young enough to be Goldblum's daughter, and secondly, Chester is of a clearly different ethnicity than Goldblum.
Just out of curiosity, I asked Bella, "Which one of those girls is his daughter?" She looked at me like I was nine kinds of stupid, and answered, "The one in the red shirt." I think I'm going to like living in this new generation through her.
And then. There are things that you know you'll have to deal with, sooner or later, and sometimes they catch you by surprise when they don't come up on your Parenting Timetable where you think they should. Today, when we were having one of our lovey-dovey moments that comes between the whinings, Bella hugged me and told me, "I love you, Mommy." I answered, "I love you, too, Baby. You're the best thing I ever did." Then she threw me off my game just a little by announcing, "I'm gonna marry you!" To which I immediately and cleverly responded, "Uh...uh...well, well...WELL...ummmm...You can't marry ME, Sweetie. You have to find your own husband so I can get to be a grandmommy!" And then my world-wise preschooler daughter informed me that, "Well, sometimes women marry women and men marry men." THAT I had an answer for. "Well, nobody marries their own parent," I said. There. Took care of THAT.
But she wasn't done. "I'm not going to be a parent, anyway. I am going to be an artist." I asked, "So...no babies for you, huh?" She could tell she was killing me with all this, and she was having a ball. Finally, a sly grin, a sideways look, and the concession, "Well, I think I will be an ARTIST PARENT."
You know what, kiddo? That's exactly what I always wanted to be. More power to you, Baby, and may both our dreams come true. And just as a bonus? May there always be poodles.