Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Past Week (Better Than A Poke in the Eye or a Rat and a Pickle)

Is past. It's over. That's about the best thing. That it's behind us. Well, that and that my husband did NOT, in fact, have to participate in a scene from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Because he was sunk in a powerful depressive cycle, and so help me, the words "if this Lamictal increase doesn't work, we can always try ECT," flew out of our doctor's mouth like they were on wings. Maybe I'm wrong, but I felt he had the same look on his face that surgeons get when they're answering the question, "is an operation really necessary?" The whole idea just gave me the shivers, and not simply because I'd never be able to chunk that marble water-fountain through the window and carry him off.

So last week was really tough on Alex. And when things are bad for him, they're bad for me--not that I pretend to have any idea what depression that serious is really all about, because I don't. I just hate seeing him suffer. And I also get lonely when he's sleeping 22.5 hours a day. Anyway, whether as a result of the full moon waning, the med increase kicking in, the mere suggestion of running enough juice through his synapses to power a Hamilton-Beach blender for long enough to make a strawberry-banana smoothie, or all three combined...he's doing much better now.

We're beginning to get things in order around here. Instead of just watching "Neat," "Clean Sweep," and "Clean House" on TV all night long while sighing wistfully, we're taking action and trying to de-clutter. Alex has done a good majority of the heavy lifting, leaving me free to putter around organizing, shelving/unshelving, storing, selling/donating, and doing "detail" work on our living spaces. This house is so unbelievably odd in design (seriously--did we just not NOTICE before we bought this place how very very WEIRD it is?) that, while space is plentiful, maximizing its livability is a real challenge. I am probably going to post pictures and invite input as I tackle some of these problems one at a time, because I know that the answers are out there, and that YOU HAVE THEM.

Bella and I have been given the gift of these last few weeks before school starts "off," and I am loving spending time with her, and being able to dress her in normal, little-kid summer clothes instead of having to make her look like an extra from "Big Love" just to go to day-care. Alex called home one day and, listening to her in the background (although, with Bella, it's never really the BACKground), asked me, "How long will it take her to get tired?" To which I replied, "I don't know yet. It's only been a week." I still don't know.

We've entered a whiny stage that is driving me crazy (I'm talking mostly about Bella here). Why just ask for anything when you could start up your siren and make your most melodramatic facial contortions and squeeze out a few tears for added effect? Also, I think I'm ready to bestow my very first Maternal Curse on my child, as my mother (successfully) did on me so many times: I hope that when Bella has a child of her own, that child will demand a never-ending supply of Band-Aids for every possible malady, from skinned knees to hiccups to offended sensibilities. And that when Band-Aids are denied, for reasons as trivial as the fact that you can't stick a Band-Aid to your EYEBALL, that child will make begin to make sounds which will be heard by dogs long before they fall on any human ears, and will be inconsolable and will also not forget about the non-Band-Aid-having EVER, regardless of distractions offered.

Speaking of noise, you know what we haven't heard yet this year? One single firecracker. Well, I take that back. I was so befuddled by the lack of firecracker noise, HERE, in rural Arkansas of all places, that I actually went outside tonight and just listened. There were firecracker noises, after all. Know why we can't hear them from inside the house? Because those sounds are drowned out by the multitude of locusts, cicadas and FROGS which are in concert all summer long. There is one particular frog that I'd like, quite honestly, to murder with my bare hands. I'd do it slowly, and then hang his little carcass above the koi pond, or put it on a pike in the landscaping, as a warning to all his little frog-buddies. Barometer species, my hind leg--just SHUT UP, you horny little amphibian freaks.

We've seen a few movies in the last couple weeks, and have enjoyed Netflix's new streaming movie feature as well. Kinda neat to just order one up and have it here instantaneously. Most recently we saw Marky-Mark in Shooter, which was remarkable in that it's a Rambo-esque, revenge-driven bloodfest...wrapped around a liberal sensibility and message. Yeah, I know. Weird, huh? Ned Beatty plays/represents Evil Incarnate (*cough*BushAdministration*cough*) in this one. Also, Casey Jones from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was another bad guy. Irritating Alex throughout (this movie was his pick; mine for the same weekend was Breach, which I found interesting) was my glee at the name of Marky-Mark's character: Bob Lee Swagger. I'm sorry, I just couldn't get over it, this not being a comedy or based on a comic book. And then, when the secondary good-guy character was introduced as Nick Memphis, I nearly lost my mind. At one point, my husband actually threatened me thusly: "If you say his name one more time, I am just going to turn this off." He maybe should have thought that threat through, because it was about as effective as when I was "punished" in college for having a "bad attitude" (I know, right? ME?) by being forced to SIT OUT Razorback Marching Band rehearsals, when in the first place I was participating against my will (because I wasn't good enough, as a freshman, to earn one of the two spots in the symphony orchestra) earning my scholarship, in the second place it was 102 degrees outside, and in the third place these rehearsals were three hours long and took place on ASPHALT. So because of my bad attitude (due to the hating of everything to do with "marching band"--my blood pressure still rises just thinking about it), I had to lie in the shade with a book instead of sweating it out under the sun on the blacktop with my better-behaved peers. GENIUS.

Oh, and my husband also made the baseless accusation that if I were pressed into service as a field-surgeon on Marky-Mark, like the girl in the movie was, I'd take advantage of the opportunity to get a peek at his "funky bunch" before he woke up. The nerve. It just so happens that the placement of the bullet-wound would have made peeking unnecessary.

I think the 4th of July is going to be lazy and food-filled for us, probably over at Mom's with the rest of the gang. What about you? And while I've got you here, what's up with Canada Day? I heard someone describe it as "their Independence Day," but isn't Canada a constitutional monarchy? What are they independent from? That said, I fully embrace and celebrate Canada and all things and especially people Canadian. If nothing else, they'll keep you busy looking up words like "toque" and "gonch." I haven't met one yet who wasn't cuddly.

I'm kind of hoping we'll maybe get to get out and see "Rat's Patootie" (sorry, Mom, we're not correcting her, because it's just too funny) like Bella wants. I could go for some animated-rat-based escapism right now. Which segues into the best Bella-quote of the entire week, which I still haven't figured out, "Mommy, I love you more than a rat and a pickle."



  1. Canada Day is Canada's National Holiday, marking the establishment of Canada as a self-governing country on July 1, 1867. It is a federal holiday generally celebrated on July 1, annually by all provincial governments and most businesses across the country. So says Wikipedia. :-) I celebrated by watering the garden and watching SNAKES ON A PLANE!

  2. Thank you!! I would give a minor appendage to watch SoaP with YOU. And I should study up on Canadian government, because I don't get how/in what way the Queen of England is still involved?

  3. The Queen is the Queen in Canada... (well, she is Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith) ... it is part of the Commonwealth (being a much nicer name than the British Empire) and the monarchy (yep, every last crazy one of them) is the monarchy there...

    Although she doesn't get involved in the politics there, I think she just remains Head of State... with all the constitutional rights...

    But I have no real clue... :)

    Happy 4th July from the cold wet place that houses the Queen!

  4. Canada Day is a lazy and food-filled day to celebrate being Canadian. That, and whatever Wikipedia said.

    Happy 4th of July!

  5. I'm sorry to hear that Alex has had a rough time of it. My grandfather had electroshock in the late-1940s/early-1950s. Whether it helped him or not I have no idea, since I obviously wasn't around then and he never talked about it (which is hardly surprising). They do say it's different now..."more humane."

    Yeah, that doesn't fill me with a great deal of confidence either.

    Best to you both on this 4th...and I'll overlook your slur against marching bands, just this once ("I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel breed, and when I die I'm a Tar Heel dead. So it's ra-ra Car-o-lina-lina, ra-ra Car-o-lina-lina..."). As for your question...it's almost 11 am here and I still have no clue what I'm doing today. Best get about figuring it out, huh? :-)

  6. See, the Commonwealth is like a closed little hoity-toity social club and the Queen is its lifetime president, even though the members do whatever they want behind closed doors. As such, she has all the perks of the club plus a lot more but never actually has to show up except to say something empty but inspiring at the AGM.

    Nope -- NOT from Wikipedia.

  7. PS Speaking of movies, see Hot Fuzz. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

  8. Jeez me n alex are cycling together. SOmething.
    I went to the head headshrinker yesterday for a med review & it lasted LESS THAN TEN MINUTES. I am actually thinking part of it took place as he waled me to the receptionist desk.
    I knew that it is time for me to change docs when the first thing he said to me was, "we need to get you started on Lamictal tomorrow OK?"
    And my reply was, "you put me on that almost 4 weeks ago"
    He says, "are you sure, it's not in your chart".
    Told me I am taking too much klonopin (I am prescribed 1 2x day, and am having to take 3, MAYBE 2x per week to calm my aggitation (which is BAD). Still way less than I have been prescribed. HELLO JACKASS....I AM NOT TAKING IT EVERYDAY. He tells me it's much too adictive and I should take it as it has been prescribed. AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.
    You MORON do not make me snatch my INCORRECT chart out of your bony hands and beat you over the head with it, which I might do because you are really pissing me off right now.
    So, I hope the lamictal increase helps. I am glad you are organizing (i've been using my OCD powers to try and organize my mom, she is not a willing participant).
    And ECT scares the honey butter outta me.

  9. Oh, babydoll I'm so saddened to hear of your difficult time and Alex's hell being unleashed upon him again. There really are no words of wisdom I could even begin to utter to you both. I just want it to STOP for the both of you. Love you both,

  10. Wow. That's quite a week. And I'm new here, I'm not sure if I've commented before.
    I hope you do go and see Rattatoille, it's a cute movie, which we all enjoyed. I'm so glad the meds kicked in or whatever it was to nudge the depression away. And good luck with the home reorganizing projects. We've been doing that for the past two weeks, too.

  11. I'm so sorry about Alex...I hope he starts feeling better soon! I take Lamictal, too, and it's what got me out of my bipolar depression. I know it's hard on the "significant others" of those who are bipolar, and I'm sure Alex knows how very lucky he is to have you, as I am to have my fiance. But...he's lucky to have me, too! :) (hehe)

  12. Absolutely right. Thanks all, and yes, I am lucky to have him. He was in fine form today, cooking his FOINE gourmet burgers so that I only had to eat one meal all day. Still stuffed!

    (Hey Mandy, you need a referral?)

  13. I am glad that Alex is doing better!!

    My little (he is 6' 5") brother is helping me and my sister redecorate and paint our houses. For a straight guy he has incredible taste and even sews:o) He just has this knaack for decorating and cooking.

    Oh, don't you love the whiney stage:o) My youngest niece is finally getting the idea that she needs to ask in a normal voice for what she wants and not cry before she says anything. Band-Aids cure everything. You would not believe how many FOUR little girls ca ngo through!!

    I have always enjoyed the frogs and cricket noises at night, it helps me get to sleep quicker:o)

    Love Bella's interpratation of the movie's name:o) My nieces want to see that so hopefully we will make it to a theater some time soon.

  14. Horny little amphibian freaks? you have a way with words. :) Personally, I like the outdoor noises. It's easy for me though -- I just turn down my hearing aids if they get too loud.

  15. I know you do not know me however I have to say I hope your hubb's get's a lot better. I personally am on EMSAM it's a transdermal patch, every day is a struggle to get out of bed. I work full time however everything else is a struggle beyond that. I have no drive etc. My Psych wanted to do ECT for me I just could NOT give the go ahead for that..yet anyways.