Friday, April 13, 2007

An Homage to Sleeping

Because really? That's all I want to do. Basically until these meds either work or are out of my system. Wellbutrin? Not working out. I'm getting off of it, because that last dosage increase made me feel awful. So I don't know what's in store. What do you do when you're depressed, but all the drugs that exist to treat that condition make you NUTS? Anyway, I'm trapped in some kind of paralytic anxiety that's shackling me to my house again . But there is FISHING coming up next week, husband-mandated trout-fishing, so a week of communing with Nature should be very healing for me. Or kill me outright. Only time will tell.

I'm off to Bella's school with Delta in tow for "Pet Show Day." Wheee. It's taking half a Xanax and a whole lot of internal patter to get me out the door (I'm not even dressed yet, so who knows if I'll make it? Set up a betting pool among your friends, join in the fun). In the meantime, here's some of my favorite sleeping shots of...well, who else?



Bella Napping on Daddy

Asleep On Her Feet

bellasleep

Bella tuckered traveler

sleepyfan


Yardwork Wears A Girl Out

bellasnooze7mo

Daddy'sGirl3

Isabella2wksSleeping

16 comments:

  1. Belinda,
    I have been reading your blog for over a year now, but just recently figured out how to leave a comment. I have what is called "atypical reactive depression" I was on Wellbutrin for over a year. This drug was ineffective for me, in fact no drugs work. One of the things my therapist pointed out to me was to quit fighting against it, because ultimately we are the only ones that can change anything. She often told me when I was in a down place was "you've been there before, and you will be there again" I know that you are a woman of strong faith, use that faith to reach out and pull yourself up. If you can't then use the faith of your "Balcony People". I will keep you in my prayers. By the way, I am a fellow miniature poodle breeder. Just finished my first champion in over 30 yrs.
    Aleah Davis, Talisman Poodles

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  2. Well, I needed a cocktail of 3 drugs to help with depression- couldn't do a thing with just one or two (which felt depressing at the time, but I digress). I still sink from time to time-- the first comment above was right on. But here are some the the tricks I use to battle back:


    You're already spending time with your dogs, that's good.

    Try finding lots of light and sun. See if you can drag out the door to the yard to commune with the flora and the koi.

    Find a funny book or movie. Start fake laughing to a tune--(I use the William Tell overature, but that's just me).

    Give yourself a present for getting up *and* dressed-- I'm big on one tune for the iPod

    Walk or move for a half hour-- no rules on speed or such-- this is not for weight loss after all. I dance to Taj Mahal's "Pancake Man" with the kids

    Pray. A lot.

    lots of human and poodle good thoughts to you and yours

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  3. I'm sorry that the new meds aren't working out for you. I hope you are able to find something that will help.

    My favorite is the one of Isabella asleep on the footstool. I have one of my niece asleep on the counter at work sitting on a stool. Those are my favorite pictures.

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  4. Hey, I made it to "Pet Show" day! Wheee! Delta was a huge hit, and the only dog over 15 pounds present.

    Aleah, I recognize both your name and your kennel prefix--thanks for the comment. You're right about very, very much there. I'm not "sad" all the time, but since Dad died I just don't seem to be equipped to handle stress any more at all. And the ADs cause the freakish anxiety. Bleah. And congrats on the new champion! Would love to see him/her, if you want to email me. ninjapoodlesATgmailDOTcom

    Who is my anonymous? I am dying to know! Email me, because I love your "coping mechanisms!"

    Kim, it'll get better. I really do feel better. I do. It's just been so bad for so long that "better" is still...eh. I love that in the passed-out-in-a-towel picture, it's a brand-new towel that still has the tag on it. She was fresh out of the tub, and I'm not sure why she was so exhausted that day!

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  5. Belinda~~ Maybe you don't see or feel the "better", but you are back here more often than before, sharing yourself with us.....your adoring crowd. That has to count for something. You are interested enough in life to volunteer for Pet day and get yourself and Delta there. Be kind to yourself. Give it time, cut yourself some slcak. You are obviously raising a beautiful and smart child, you keep a household going, you adore your animals, and your husband is still hangin' in there!
    You may not see all the great things you are doing right now, but I think the rest of us do.

    BTW, as always, beautiful pictures of Ms.Bella!

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  6. Yes! Sleep is great!

    And anti-dep-meds... well, I've done that dance, sometimes better sometimes worse, but at least different. Here's hoping you get your groove.

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  7. Hi Belinda,

    After reading this post, the first thing I want to do is rush to AK and give you a hug.

    I think what everyone said before hit the nail on the head, so I won't belabor the point but while not as severe, I too have been lately suffering from depression, and I take comfort from the idea that, just like you, there are people out there in my life, including in cyberspace, who love and care for me and that love and care will help get me through this difficult time. Please know you're not alone - lots of love to you babe.

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  8. When I first started Wellbutrin, I had a terrible time sleeping. It amped me up so much when I went to the higher dose. However, after about a month it all evened out. I am still on it but have another anti-depressant called Trazodone that is specifically for night-time usage. It "shuts off your brain" so you can sleep...you might like it!

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  9. Cymbalta worked wonders for me. I suppose I was a rare case in that I only had to take it 3months, then quit. Life has never been better.

    My life on Wellbutrin was a freakin' roller-coaster ride (before the Cymbalta). I couldn't wait to get through the sleeplessness issues before I had to stop that bunch of nonsense!

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  10. SO cute! There's nothing like sleepy pics!

    Hope you're feeling better soon. Been there; commiserating.

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  11. I feel your pain, as you know. For me the GAD and depression is so far (12 days) doing well with lexapro and the side effects have been very tolerable compared to effexor.

    take care
    xxoo

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  12. First of all, my favorite photo is the one of little Bella in the sling with the white headband-SO precious!

    And I have to take 150 mg. of Wellbutrin and 10 mg. of Lexapro to do ANYTHING. I was having panic attacks at the video store! You just hang in there and email me any time if you want to chat, mmkay?

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  13. a blog i read faithfully linked me here. i feel your pain, know your frustration. i have tried without success many of the newer meds, and good old amitrypaline has made me as good as new again - sleeping well at night, feeling rested, happy and no panic attacks. best of all no side effects! i hope you find what's right for you soon...
    the pictures are beautiful.

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