Monday, March 19, 2007

Yelling At My TeeVee: A Compilation

Just today, in my house:

Bella: "Mommy, I wish I was a little Japanese girl."

Me: "You wish you were a little Japanese girl?" (Sometimes the best I can do is repeat what I just heard from her, to stall for time while I try to figure out what's going on in that little 4-year-old head.)

Bella: "Yeah. Then I could be on that Japanese game. And I would climb to the TOP of that wall! And I would be ON T.V.!! If I was a little Japanese girl."

The preceding conversation is a direct result of the huge amount of "Ninja Warrior" tournaments we've been watching on G4. If you get this channel (and you might not know it if you do--I didn't, until I read an article about "Ninja Warrior" in Sports Illustrated, and looked for it), I am BEGGING you to watch "Ninja Warrior." I am hopelessly addicted. You can't watch it without becoming physically involved, either. You lean, dodge, jump, and grunt in a vain attempt to "help" the competitors through the course. "Ninja Warrior." It's a GOOD THING. The Japanese know how to make some compelling television. My Dad would have LOVED THIS SHOW, and I think that's one reason I like it, because I can totally channel him while I watch. I know exactly what he'd be saying, and when: "Oh, but here comes ol' Yamamoto the fireman...whoops, don't let your tail fly up, son!"

Our favorite competitor, once American Olympic decathlonist Paul Terek was taken down in stage two (as Alex said of Paul Terek, "Homeboy was just too darn big for all that spider-climbing"), as were gymnasts Paul and Morgan Hamm (eliminated in stage 2, that is, not "too big"), was crab fisherman Makoto Nagano, who is featured in the video here. We watched him through all three stages, over 3 days, and were just giddy when he actually won. He makes it look easy, but he was only the second, of over 2,000 competitors, to make it to the end and become "Ninja Warrior." In conclusion, go TiVo "Ninja Warrior." You won't be sorry.

Other moments that had me yelling, for various reasons (delight, horror, frustration, confusion), at my television set recently, were the following:

The "Cats Are Jerks" sketch from "Robot Chicken."
Start here (click on photo), and proceed leftward in the flickr series. Funny to me.

And then, my moment of frustration with BAD EDITING came courtesy of "Ugly Betty." I notice these kinds of things ALL the time in movies and television, but this one was particularly blatant.
Again, click photo and then proceed leftward. There are 10 frames in this series, I believe, but they're worth looking at. Ironically, this is the same sort of thing that kept irritating me about the movie "The Departed." Really. TERRIBLE editing in that film.

Now for my moment of sincere befuddlement and painful curiosity. Out of sheer desperation from nothing else being on (yeah, I know, I coulda read a book, for crying out loud), I was watching "Supernanny." Shut up. Like you never have. Anyway, this episode was about a single mom whose parents were helping to raise their grandkids. So when Supernanny Jo went to the grandparents' house, I could not help but notice a few examples of wall hangings being "blurred" out by ABC, which left me DYING to know what was depicted in those pictures!!
As always, click photo, then head to the left. There are only three photos for this one. And PLEASE tell me if you have anything better to offer than my husband, that these are giant depictions of Grandma and Grandpa exhibiting their "naughty spots." (HA HA! Supernanny inside joke!)

And finally, the television moment that made me squeal and squirm, courtesy, as always, of "24." I will never stop loving this show. Never.
The lesson here, kiddies, is that when Jack Bauer tells you that he is going to "...cut off one finger at a time, until you tell [him] what he wants to know..." BELIEVE HIM, and just start talking. Because he has a special finger-chopping guilloutine tool, which he CARRIES AROUND IN HIS SUIT POCKET. Right next to his hanky and spare change, I'm guessing.

That's all for now...update on my psychological health and our mini-vacation/birthday celebration last weekend to follow. Watch "Ninja Warrior." I command you.


  1. My guess for the blurred art is some sort of reproductions--they look like landscapes, fwiw--and my money would be on something ubiquitous like ye olde "painter of light" Kinkade. Given the high-volume, commercial focus of his business, they could have blurred it to avoid giving him free publicity OR in case he requires a licensing fee.

    Or maybe the paintings were by unknowns and just plain ol' yooooooo-gly, and the producers were sparing the viewer. ;)

  2. Have never seen Ninja Warrior. may have to give it a try.
    The Cat sentiment. Unfortunately, I agree.
    Supernanny. Oh how I love some Supernanny. I saw that episode and was very distracted by the blurred art. My best guess----fugitives.
    Even though I have never seen 24, I may have to start to watch it. Any man who carries a finger-guillotine----well, he's alright with me.

  3. That Ugly Betty dress thing really bugs me! But tell me about The Departed (which I loved so, so much)-what's going on with the editing?

    Also, I LOVE that you used the word "hanky". I bet your Dad always had a fresh one in his pocket, didn't he?

  4. I used to be in love with Keifer Sutherland, but that was back in his vampire days, before he started carrying around torture devices.

    As for the painting, it's a landscape of some kind. But electric? Probably one of those fibre optic ones. But they didn't get permission from the artist so for legal reasons have to blot it out. Or because it's that bad.

  5. Good guesses on the blurred art! I never would have thought of those things.

    And yes, my dad absolutely carried a clean handkerchief at ALL times.

    "The Departed" was just chock-full of bad edits/cuts. In one shot, Marky-Mark's hair is blowing backward in the wind. Cut away for half a second, come back, and it's plastered down into perfection. Or in a conversation scene, Leo is making some hideous scrunched-up face, cut away, then he's blank-faced. Stuff like that just drives me crazy. They'd obviously shot the scenes over and over, then pieced together what they thought were the best "takes," with no consideration to continuity. Made me BUGGY.

  6. Wasn't the finger guillotine thing actually for cigars? Thought I saw the Russian guy trimming a cigar prior to Jack coming in. I had a feeling that was foreshadowing...

  7. Hey, maybe so--good catch! We were saying that it *looked* like one of those tools, but we never imagined you could actually remove a finger with a cigar-tip-cutter! The way I saw him whip it out looked like he pulled it from his suit, but maybe he snatched it up off the guy's desk.

  8. You are so funny, B. I get freaked when I see things in a movie/tv show that are out of sequence. Like...DIRT? Ever watch that show? Last episode, the lead guy shaved his beard and moustache. This episode which is supposed to be the NEXT day, he had a full goatee and moustache again. ARGH! Makes me insane!


  9. We do watch that, but I think I was internetting while it was on--I hate to think I'd MISS something like that!

    Go ahead, watch "The Departed," and scream your head off about the overratedness of Marty Scorcese.