Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Pardon My Decrepitude

I've been scarce around the internet lately, for a number of reasons.

First, we had to send our laptop back to Dell AGAIN to have the power outlet replaced AGAIN. According to them, it goes bad because we "put too much pressure on the AC cord." According to me, Dell is full of crap, because the only time I ever "put pressure" on the AC cord is when it stops maintaining a connection without supplemental jiggling/fiddling. Typing with one hand while holding in a power cord at an odd angle is no fun. So now any computer time has to be spent shackled to the PC upstairs in the guest room, which means no multi-tasking. This is not how I'm meant to use the computer.

hint hint
Also, we have been Working Out. At the gym. Getting sweaty, which I hate. Using my muscles, which I hate. Elevating My Heart Rate, which I also hate. Don't even imagine me as a Cute Little Aerobics Chick. Think more about your great-grandmother doing those exercises that they teach at the community center for old people to do while sitting in a chair, or chest-deep in a warm pool. Today was the first time I fought through The Lazy and actually stayed on the treadmill for a full 30 minutes. I won't lie, it sucked, and no, I didn't feel a rush of accomplishment that made it all worthwhile. It's still exercise, and we don't hang. Yes, I will feel better and be healthier. Yes, I will keep doing it. But yes, I wish there were another way, a way that didn't involve getting out of my recliner at the end of the day. Point is, by the time we get home, it's time to get Bella fed, bathed, and in bed, and then it's bedtime for us, except that somewhere in there I need to do a minimum of two loads of laundry. What-Ev.

My mother bought me a Big Box O' Supplements intended to bolster my puny immune system. So don't be surprised if, between this, the new clean air system, the cessation of Coca-Cola consumption, and the Working Out, I become some sort of superhero.

You'll hear it from me first. I'm hoping to develop the ability to teleport. What would be YOUR chosen super-power? Please try to do better than Alex's lame "invisibility."


  1. Teleport, schemeleport. I want to make money come out of my fingers. Like some superheros shoot electricity or spiderman shoots his web... I want it to be 100 dollar bills. Bills that I would use to fight evil and do good with. Oh, and bills that I would use to provide my family with the creature comforts we so deserve. You know, like food and heat.

  2. One of my most favorite questions!!
    That's easy...
    super power:flying.
    Just because.

  3. Super-groomer. That'll be me. 5 perfectly groomed hooligans in a mere second.

    What's better than that?

    OK, maybe Super pooper scooper. A tiny bit better.

  4. I want the power to locate any object.

  5. Oh, a super power. The ability to have a never ending supply of shoes? Money? Be able to make authors of series books get their next books straight to me as soon as I'm done reading the last one? Yep, the book one. I want that.

    I'm looking at you, JK Rowling.

  6. OH OH! We were discussing this yesterday and I swore I wanted Jedi mind powers. Very handy. Just a wave of the hand and I could fix problems with the insurance, at the DMV, with kids doing chores. The Force has a powerful effect on the weak-minded you know.

  7. Oh, I like WWK and Scribbit's ideas for abilities, bot h would be very nice, but I would settle for something to do with super metabolism or anti--aging and I would always have the perfect body:o)

    I hate it when the computer company claims it is not there fault or the car repair shop. It is so frustrating.

    I am working out also, but not at the gym. I am walking my dogs around my neighborhood a lot to build up more stamina for our tracking and obedience. I am also spending several times every walking around fields for ours on end laying tracks and then running them. It is really good exercise and even helps to clear head colds and runny noses:o) The gym is so boring.

  8. I feel the same way about exercise. I'm waiting for the joyous happy fun part to kick in, you know, the one they show on TV? The one where it's not a pain in my giant ass.

  9. Oh man, I love working out. I use an elliptical trainer though, much better than a treadmill.

    Superpower? I'd like the ability to heal with my hands. Well, I'm going to school to be a doctor, so, well, that would be rather handy...

  10. My super-ability?

    It's a combo thing. Super strength/speed thing so that I can do major tasks quickly and effortlessly. Like replacing my floor.

  11. I want to make everyone around me fatter and uglier. That way I always look really good and I don't have to do anything.

    What would you call that?

    Oh, and the coke thing? What's left?

  12. I want the power to speak to people without opening my mouth. I'd get to say exactly what I was thinking without ever opening my mouth, this would be very effective since I work with the public. I would use the f word a lot-it would be shocking b/c I am so sweet.

  13. Every married man's super-power would be invisibility. Mine would be long division.

  14. First I thought that it would be great to be able read people's minds, but that would probably drive my insane. So, I'm going to say the ability to fly. Then I'd never have to take a subway train again.

  15. My superpower would be the ability to know what women want...just think how handy that will come in...

    'hey dude! she did it again. She walked away from the argument because I did not know what I did that made her mad! You've gotta help me!'

  16. time travel. No question about it. With time travel, I could work full time, be a full time mom, and still have enough hours in the night to sleep. Oh, and be a good wife, too.

  17. I would be "Consumption Girl". I could eat whatever I want and it would magically not appear on my hips, ass and thighs!



  18. I have had the same problem with my last 2 Dells - for the exact reason. I thought I was the only one!

    Do you take an ipod with you to the gym? I don't think I could handle the gym without one!

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