Sunday, February 04, 2007

No More Snow Days

What is this? My child, she is a hardhead. Who could have seen that coming? We are going through a heck of a phase here.

We had two "snow days" last week. In Arkansas, "snow days" are when it is technically winter, and precipitation occurs that freezes for any amount of time, no matter how short, and the schools close and people make mad runs on the grocery stores (unless you're me, and you have 3 pounds of shredded cabbage, 4 loaves of bread, ten pounds of frozen chicken, two gallons of frozen milk, and countless boxes of brown rice, pasta, etc. because it was all ON SALE and you HAD COUPONS and hey, your total was 66% SAVED last time).

Actually, the first night it snowed, there really were some hazardous conditions on the roads. It took Alex and I over an hour to get home from choir practice, a distance of maybe 10 miles. Let me take a minute to share my husband-taught technique for Arkansas snow/ice driving without benefit of 4-wheel-drive: If you can keep moving, you just do that. If you have to stop, like we did, over and over Wednesday night, you spin your wheels until you burn through the layer of snow/ice enough for your tires to grip the asphalt below. Alex did OK, because he had a half-ton or so of feed in the back of his truck*. I, on the other hand, slid a good bit. There was no way we could make it to our street, much less down our curvy driveway, but fortunately there is a back-road, gravel, that leads all the way to the rear of our property, and we were able to take that while everyone else just sat on the highway...maybe 'til the next day, I'm not sure.

So one snow day, that's all right. We snuggled up, watched movies, read books, played games, stuff like that. And all the snow and ice pretty much went away during the day. And then night fell, and so did more snow. Not that the ground temperature was cold enough for it to matter come morning, but of course the schools were still closed. So that left Bella and I home while Alex went to work. Many books, many games, many repeat viewings of "Hip-Hop Harry" (God save you all from Hip-Hop Harry) Ach, my Aching head. By the time Alex got home, I had a wild-eyed look and a seige mentality. The only conversation I remember was warning Alex not to confuse his Diet Dr. Pepper can with the other one, because the other one contained not Diet Dr. Pepper, but milk. I think he asked me why that was, and I think my response, which was something like, "BECAUSE SHE ASKED TO HAVE HER MILK IN A DIET DR. PEPPER CAN TWO-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-SEVEN TIMES, AND I JUST DON'T CARE ANY MORE," frightened him out into the yard with its crazed delivery.

But, I have to tell you: A bright spot in that day? This:

OMG, Jon Stewart is on Jack's Big Music Show

JON STEWART GUEST-STARRING ON "JACK'S BIG MUSIC SHOW." Great jumpin' cats, but that was awesome. They re-run these things, so I highly recommend trying to catch the Groundhog Day episode. Wowee, wow, wow. Jon, you are my hero. Thank you.

Looking For the Groundhog
He Is Looking Right At Me, Telling Me What a Hot, Hip, Smart Mommy I Am
Giving the Gang the Peace Out Chest Thump
And There You Have It.
Click pictures for more. Yes, sadly, there is more, and yes, I've reached the point where I can make myself believe that Jon Stewart is speaking directly to me through that there talkity-box.

*My mom, who likes to point out serendipitous occurrences, cobbled the following together nicely, after we managed to get home safely with Alex in the lead: "Just think, if you hadn't stood up for what you felt was right(1), and then if Alex hadn't done the right thing in going to the feed store (2), then he wouldn't have had that extra weight in his truck bed that allowed him to drive safely in the snow(3)."

(1) I stormed out of a local feed-store because the owner was ranting about the evils of "blacks, Mexicans, and feminists." Nope, just couldn't give him my money. Desperately needed feed, but just...couldn't do it. This weird balkish boycotting streak in me sometimes provides my family with amusement (as they wave their Nestle and Nike products tauntingly at me--YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), but I simply can't help it.
(2) When I got to town and blubberingly told my story, and that I was going to have to drive to another town to get feed before the store closed, Alex insisted on going in my stead, which meant that Bella and I were at church, warm and dry and eating homemade soup, while he was schlepping feed back toward us.
(3) Seriously--we saw multiple pickup trucks off in ditches and down drop-offs. One went off right in front of Alex. We suspect that some Manly Men (especially those who drive pickup trucks with no real need for a pickup truck) just forget that the rear section of their macho vehicle is very very light, and then are surprised when the back wheels just get away from them.


  1. I understand the wild-eyed half-crazy thing. Been there.

    I thought you were going to say that it was NOT just Dr. Pepper in there, and you might want to rethink drinking it lest ye be unable to drive should the need arise.

    Silly one-track minded me.

  2. If it had been me, I would have put the milk in the pop can too, because sometimes they have just worn me the heck DOWN. You have my snow day sympathies, honey!

    And Jon Stewart as "Bronk Steingruber, Groundhog News Network"? GENIUS!! I loves me some Jon Stewart.

  3. Good girl for storming out of that feed store. Ignorance does not deserve a payday!

    BTW, is all that storm food neatly organized?

  4. I can't stop laughing at the grocery savings part. That is SO me. My husband manages a grocery store, so I have an unfair advantage of know what goes on sale a few days before it happens. I save all my coupons for when something is on sale. It's horrible. I'm so bad!

  5. somebody should point out to these -ahem- men that at the local hardware store they sell tubes of sand (very heavy) designed to sit in the rear end of pick-em up trucks to reduce such risks...

  6. Jon, one of my future husbands, is brilliant, is he not?