...is what I'm doing over at my NPL blog today. Regarding actual fish.
And here, too, from other moms (or dads) of "only" children. As the date of what I've come to think of as my "hysteretceterectomy" gets closer and closer, I seem to be hearing more and more from Bella about "another baby" for our family, or simply "our baby," as a matter of fact, as if she already has one on order. (She did, indeed, just speak of getting a "new baby...at the baby store." And we are not the type of parents to make up fanciful stories about where babies come from, so the origin of that idea, beyond wishful thinking, is unknown to me.)
As I've mentioned here, she has already asked me if, after my operation, when I'm "all better," I THEN "can have another baby." And there have been other questions and comments about babies, specifically us having one. And I've explained over and over that we will not be able to have any more babies, that she is our only baby, and that God gave us SUCH a wonderful, special child, that He decided she was a very great gift and that we were a perfect family as we are. And then, every time I think I've just about got MY emotional roller-coaster halted on this issue, we have an exchange like the one from yesterday, when Bella drew a family picture. With four figures in it.
Me: (getting to the last figure, a very small one) "And who is this little one?"
Bella: "That's the baby."
Me: "What baby?"
Bella: "OUR baby. Our NEW one."
Me: "And where did we get a new baby?"
Bella: "At the baby store."
Tell me honestly, More Experienced Parents: How much is the desire for a sibling actually affecting my just-one-month-short-of-four-year-old daughter? Because, you know, I don't have ENOUGH angst in my life right at the moment, and would like more to worry about, please. But I could (and often do, once I've gotten out of sight) cry when my only child speaks wistfully and wishfully about a baby, or a brother or a sister, or talks about the babies that are in the families of other children.
And how much of this is just my own stubborn railing at the fact that the family of my lifelong dreams just did not stop at THREE? AS IF WE ARE GUARANTEED ANY SINGLE THING IN LIFE, MUCH LESS THE BLESSING OF ONE CHILD, NOT TO MENTION MORE THAN ONE.