Isn't it madness? So, if I told you that my husband and I stayed up all night--literally, all night--talking about his illness, my illness, both our treatment, but most of all HOW MUCH and WHY we LOVE EACH OTHER, would you believe me? And if you did, would you be sick?
Folks, I've never lied to you. Things have NOT been easy around Chez Ninja lately. I mean, like, for WEEKS ON END. There's me, what with my hurting and whining about the hurting and general uselessness, and then there's Alex, with his broken brain and the way-too-slow achieving of a therapeutic level of the new mood stabilizer that's been added to his cocktail, and his very-much-anger at...well, I seem to be the one who's available to represent the world. We are both way too...well, let's call it "touchy."
So anyway, blah, blah, blah, and last night we're talking. A lot. Because we don't seem to be sleeping with any sort of regularity, so why not? And my husband, to whom I've been married for closing in on 6 years, fills my ears with sweetness the likes of which would send Jen racing for her insulin. FOR HOURS.
I tried to match his pace with the spoken lovelies; I did. But World, on this occasion, I was completely and thoroughly bested. I won't go into huge detail; this was largely private conversation, after all (plus, if I spill it now, you won't have any reason to buy the BOOK, will you?), but I will say that we were somehow able, and easily, to speak peacefully and quietly about things OF WHICH WE HAD NEVER SPOKEN BEFORE. That in itself was amazing enough, but you know what else? Turns out, my husband? He LOVESES me. Like crazy.
I have two favorite declarations that I will share with you, unless he gets all embarrassed and makes me delete them, but my guess is that he's got the stones to be exposed as a sentimental romantic without suffering any machismo damage.
There was this unexpected bit of warm-fuzzy:
Alex: "I'm falling in love with you."
Me: "What--just NOW? We've been married for over five years; what the heck took you so long?"
Alex: "Belinda, I'm falling in love with you all the time."
Yeah. Smooth, right? You know you're smiling, unless your heart is cold and dead and black like a burnt-out star. But best of all was a heartfelt, sincere one-liner:
Alex, to Me: "You are my home."
AND, he watched, really WATCHED, the film adaptation of Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic operetta "The Pirates of Penzance" with me. And he LIKED it, enough to even rewind and replay entire arias! AND he didn't care HOW many times I talked about how unbelievably hot Kevin Kline was as the Pirate King.
Me, I'm looking forward to one BUSTAH of an anniversary come December. And if anyone catches a lyrical reference in this post without Googling, you get to be my new best friend. For at least a week.