Monday, August 21, 2006

Isn't It Good; Isn't He Fine?

Isn't it madness? So, if I told you that my husband and I stayed up all night--literally, all night--talking about his illness, my illness, both our treatment, but most of all HOW MUCH and WHY we LOVE EACH OTHER, would you believe me? And if you did, would you be sick?

Folks, I've never lied to you. Things have NOT been easy around Chez Ninja lately. I mean, like, for WEEKS ON END. There's me, what with my hurting and whining about the hurting and general uselessness, and then there's Alex, with his broken brain and the way-too-slow achieving of a therapeutic level of the new mood stabilizer that's been added to his cocktail, and his very-much-anger at...well, I seem to be the one who's available to represent the world. We are both way too...well, let's call it "touchy."

So anyway, blah, blah, blah, and last night we're talking. A lot. Because we don't seem to be sleeping with any sort of regularity, so why not? And my husband, to whom I've been married for closing in on 6 years, fills my ears with sweetness the likes of which would send Jen racing for her insulin. FOR HOURS.

I tried to match his pace with the spoken lovelies; I did. But World, on this occasion, I was completely and thoroughly bested. I won't go into huge detail; this was largely private conversation, after all (plus, if I spill it now, you won't have any reason to buy the BOOK, will you?), but I will say that we were somehow able, and easily, to speak peacefully and quietly about things OF WHICH WE HAD NEVER SPOKEN BEFORE. That in itself was amazing enough, but you know what else? Turns out, my husband? He LOVESES me. Like crazy.

I have two favorite declarations that I will share with you, unless he gets all embarrassed and makes me delete them, but my guess is that he's got the stones to be exposed as a sentimental romantic without suffering any machismo damage.

There was this unexpected bit of warm-fuzzy:

Alex: "I'm falling in love with you."

Me: "What--just NOW? We've been married for over five years; what the heck took you so long?"

Alex: "Belinda, I'm falling in love with you all the time."

Yeah. Smooth, right? You know you're smiling, unless your heart is cold and dead and black like a burnt-out star. But best of all was a heartfelt, sincere one-liner:

Alex, to Me: "You are my home."

AND, he watched, really WATCHED, the film adaptation of Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic operetta "The Pirates of Penzance" with me. And he LIKED it, enough to even rewind and replay entire arias! AND he didn't care HOW many times I talked about how unbelievably hot Kevin Kline was as the Pirate King.
Me, I'm looking forward to one BUSTAH of an anniversary come December. And if anyone catches a lyrical reference in this post without Googling, you get to be my new best friend. For at least a week.


  1. as you said my dear, epic love story. just with bumps along the way. it is inspiring and truly sweet. luckily i just took my nightly dose of insulin.


  2. Awwwww. We love you, you know, and could probably mush it up pretty good for you if you come visit.

  3. Aw, so glad you got to soak up all those lovely sentiments. (And of course the musical referance is in the title, you clown. I won't ruin it for others [wink, wink].}

  4. There is hope in this world...reading a post like this leaves me hopeful. I am so very happy for you that you experienced such precious joy.


  5. I'm telling you...the couplets...they can't be far behind.

    I just want to know what Alex is going to rhyme with "potato guns."



    *grin* And of course I'm being silly because I'm jealous. You guys are very lucky to have found each other, health issues and all.

  6. How did you stand it? A whole night of lines like those? If my husband said even ONE of them, just once, he'd have bought himself a free pass to unlimited non-stop gripe-free tv-nascar-football-pc games for ever!

    You know that there are loads of us out here in pc land that are A)in love with you two, B)so so happy for you on days like this, and C)INSANELY jealous of yas, right? ;)

    Warm fuzzies indeed!

  7. Wow, that's movie dialogue, not real life dialogue. You're married to a screenwriter. ;)

  8. My heart just did a little backflip. Because that is just too lovely an experience for words, AND because it reminded me that the hubby watched the ENTIRE 6 hour A&E version of "Pride and Prejudice" (with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy...*sigh*) and actually LOVED it.

    Sometimes? We just get damn lucky. :)
    Just so you also recognize - he's pretty damn lucky, too.

  9. Isn't it great to know that in the middle of all that turmoil, you guys are still all sweet and mushy and disgustingly in love with each other? You've inspired ultimate envy levels in me!

  10. I grinned from ear to ear, heart skipped a beat and I thought "yep, these are the moments that make the others worth it"

    Soak up the sweetness, wallow in it 'till your fingers get all pruney.

    (find the movie reference ya trickster)

  11. I love happy endings/beginnings in love stories, it always brings tears to my eyes. I hope you have many more years of love and talking for both of you. I have to go get a kleenex now.

  12. Hurray for love! Good luck making it through the day today!

  13. Barbara Streisand and Whitney Houston song lyrics for a title and he's still falling in love with you. My heart, it is now mush. He is such a good man, our Alex. And I will make him cuban chicken with black beans someday soon.

    I know him so well... you are mushy too!

  14. OK, I just wrote heartfelt responses to each and every one of you, and Firefox ATE it. Took me half an hour.

    Anyway, I love you all, and the song is "I know him so well," duet between Svetlana and Florence in the musical "Chess." It MUST be the English original cast recording, NOT the American, and DEFINITELY not the abomination perpetrated by Whitney Houston and her MOTHER. bleah.

    And Kel has me stumped on her movie.

  15. HA! Kel, I know this: Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. But I won't ruin it for Belinda. Just think... Kevin Kline is French, and utterly charming.

  16. French Kiss-- Meg Ryan says to boyfriend (but about guilt not love) "Swim in it till your fingers get all pruny " Works for all sorts of emotions and I love that movie because it's my Sweet Willy's favorite chick flick.

    good work Stephanie ;-p

  17. Well, darn! If it had been either, "I'm an a**hole, what can I say?" or that line about the ocean being so beautiful, so mysterious, "so...full of fish," I might have got it!

  18. I've always been partial to "Nobody's Side" myself. Or:

    "Oh my dear how boring, he's defecting
    Just like all the others he's expecting
    Us to be impressed with what he's done here, but he
    Hasn't stopped to think about
    The paperwork his gesture causes
    We've an embassy to run here.

    If these people can't strike blows for freedom
    With a valid visa we don't need 'em
    If we seem offhand then please remember this is
    Nothing very special
    He's the fourth we've had since last November
    Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

    Far too many jokers cross the border
    Not a single document in order
    Russia must be empty, though we're all for basic
    Human rights it makes you wonder
    What they built the Berlin Wall for
    Who do these foreign chappies think they are?"

    Ah, leave it to John Rice and those Guys from ABBA to write an ode to bureaucracy.

  19. CL: I LOVE that number. It reminds me of the "patter songs" such as the "modern major general" and "my eyes are fully open" songs from Gilbert & Sullivan. My favorite part, of course, is when they all sing their songs at the same time: The above lyrics, with the great basso "official," the female agent, and then the Russian player who gets to pepper his lines in between everyone else's:
    We're here
    For chess
    are the
    If so
    why foul
    the at-mos-phere?

    etc., etc. LOVE IT.

  20. Russian official, that last part. I reversed them. The bass is the one between the other lines.

  21. Ahh geez, mushy stuff. Gotta luv it. I'm happy for you guys that you have moments like these. We are jealous.

  22. I've never heard anyone say they are falling in love all the time. This man must have an unlimited capacity to love you with. Just think -- tomorrow he will just love you MORE!

  23. Dude! I love that version of Pirates! I have it on VHS that I taped off the TV when I was maybe 12 or 13. I use the 'five and a little bit over' line all... the ... time...

    No one gets that refrence, even when I sing it and do the Kevin Kline tiny fingers thing.

  24. Well you know I am a complete sucker for a grand and deep love story and you have got me smiling through tears here!

    B says the same sort of things to me:

    Him: Stop. Wait a minute.

    Me: Why? What's up?

    Him: I'm busy falling in love with you again.

    I'd rather have that than all the money in the world.

  25. I am so happy for you that your relationship is wonderfully strong, even through these rough times.

    Ian is going to flip when he reads this - I tease him that he's the only Gilbert and Sullivan obsessed man left in the world who isn't gay. He adores The Pirates of Penzance. He sings the songs from it all the time. What a man. He'll probably be livid with me for revealing all that!

  26. I fall in love with you all the time, too. Especially when you post the sinus cleaning pics. HOT!!!!


  27. That is an awesome post.

    I have been smiling a lot when I come over here. For different reasons.

  28. Kevin Kline as the Pirate King: hot hot hot. I've been in love with him ever since that adaptation came out. And every other version of Pirates I've seen falls so very far short.

  29. Awwww!!! He gets an A in my book!

  30. I hope to be as lucky, myself, someday.

  31. um. yay. lucky, lucky you. i've been on hiatus but i can't tell you how it warms my soul to read this. your family is a giant lovey luck magnet :)


  32. You know what i LOVE about this post? That you are describing Married LOVE-- something the movies hardly ever depict. And to me, that is so much more steamy and lovely and..and, and, and.....

    And all the good things a hot love scene should be

  33. NITA!! Nita, where are you? We're all so worried and missing you! Kisses! Many kisses! Come back soon, and get that newly-registered domain contented!

  34. Alex just may be the perfect man. All women are "pea green" with envy!

  35. Wow. That is just wow. I love it when people share their personal's like the highlights reel of life.

    And I thought I was lucky for getting orange and blue Finding Nemo themed flowers tonight since I've been having a bad week.

  36. Your hubby is definitely a keeper.

    The night Bret told me it doesn't matter where we live, because I am "home" to him is one of my most precious memories. I don't know how I was picked to be so blessed.