Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I Just Can't Seem To Work Up Any Pity...Wonder Why?
OR: All Good Things Come To Those Who Wait. OR: There IS A God, But It ISN'T L. Ron Hubbard. OR: I Just Can't Stand Tom Cruise Or His Face.
I've mentioned it before, my intense, um--let's just say "dislike," so that I don't actively froth at the mouth or burst a blood vessel somewhere--of Tom Cruise. And I have signed countless petitions and written letters to, among others, Paramount Pictures, swearing that they'd not have a cent of what meager funds I might earn until they sever ties with this ignorant cultist NUTBALL.
And hey, look! I did it! Paramount has dumped Cruise like a hot, insane, ugly little rock. DUMPED HIM. OK, maybe it wasn't ALL me. But like the little girl from the old Shake & Bake commercial, "I HELPED!"
Let us now celebrate with the rampant consumption of appropriately-prescribed psychiatric medications, viewing of the Scientology-themed episode of "South Park" (the one in which they can't coax Tom Cruise "Out of the Closet"), and write letters--I am SO not kidding--praising Paramount and Sumner Redstone for their decision.