Sunday, July 09, 2006

How To Nearly Get Us Both Beaten Up At The Radiologist's Office

While waiting for a CAT-Scan at the radiologist, I discreetly point out to my husband what is easily the best-crafted mullet haircut I've seen in years, worn by a 50-ish, large man. It was one of those...I don't know what you call them--"super-mullets?" that form an automatic ponytail. I mean, really--this 'do took some maintenance, not to mention that admirable renegade spirit that I imagine must be shared by all mullet-sporters. All we could get was a bad camera-phone pic from a distance, but if you squint...Anyway, Dear Husband then puts on his best redneck voice and whispers, "Yep. Business in the front, paaaarty in the back."

I could have killed him. I suppose I also could have reminded him that he had just spent a weekend building a homemade potato cannon, even going so far as to NAME it ("The Elimi-'Tater")...but I didn't.


  1. LMAO! I knew as soon as I saw the title to this post it was going to make me laugh!

  2. Yep, that's a super-duper mullet alright. Kinda like Billy Ray Cyrus' mullet before he wised up and went all grunge and got his own Disney show with his kid.

    Okay, maybe Billy is a bad example.

    If I were there with Geo, he would have done the same thing. You and I would both be getting up to leave.

  3. Holy cow!! HAHAHAHAHHA!! Wow, impressive.

    And...the Elimi-Tater

    *GROAN* hahah!

  4. So, when do we get pictures of the car on blocks in your yard?


  5. The Elimi-tater! hahahaha! hahahaha, I can't stop giggling. Here in NC, heart of Redneck country, this mullet is pretty much the norm. Sad eh? So common that you can actually say, "Business in the front, Party in the back!" and the guy will turn around, raise a hand to you, saying "hell YEAH!!!" and wait for the high five.

    I should move huh?

  6. Ha ha! I love the "business in the front, party in the back" line. So awesome.

    The only thing worse than people still sporting mullets are people still sporting tails. You know, the long itty-bitty braid.

    Unless, of course, you have one. Then it's actually very cool.

  7. Mary--yessssss. The tail is a much more egregious offense than the general Billy-Ray-style mullet!

    Erin--at first, I thought, yeah, run for your life! And then I reconsidered, because actually, the mullet-sporters I've run into tend to have a nice mild laid-back temperaments, so it might be a pleasant spot after all!

    Dan--I don't have one of those yet, but I do have a horse trailer. At the old house I had a defunct refrigerator out on my front porch for MONTHS. It was quite a statement.

    Chase--it was either than or The Spud-inator. EEEEeeeeeep.

    maidink, when you visit, we shall take our overly-dramatic daughters and leave Geo and Alex on their own, with a full stash of spuds. Then we'll go visit Tony.

    Mr. Fab--That's why I like you. Easy audience.

    What I've been wondering since posting this is if guys with mullets maybe have some form super strength contained within the locks. Who knows? Maybe each mullet guy is imbued with special powers, like a redneck Samson.

  8. Alex needs to go on "American Inventor" with his "Elimi-Tater"!

    What I find even worse than a grown man with a mullet is a young boy with a mullet. They are just too young to have a party going on in the back of their head, you know?!

  9. Just talked to my daughter in Spain who claims that EVERY male has a mullet- she said it was a soccer mullet - whatever THAT is!?

  10. A guy walked into my store the other day w/ a MONSTER of a tail.

    He thought he was just cooler than all get out.

  11. I don't mind the mullet, as long as it's kept trim and short. this guy is a total violation of that acceptance! :)

  12. "Elimi-Tater"!!!! I sooo want one of my own!! A friend's husband and her boys have one and they fired it off for me one night and I fell in lurve with the idea of a tater gun. (The Man actually thinks I'm truly insane now; personally, I think it's because he wants one too and is afraid to admit it.)

  13. The "Elimi-tater"!? ::giggles:: I love it. Back in the days of my misspent youth, one of my friends had a tomato launcher we used to have entirely too much fun with. I can only imagine what we'd have accomplished with a potato gun. :)

  14. The Elimi-Tater. Ian is rolling - he loves the very idea of it. We have SO many mullets up here - I even saw a man wearing a mullet and sporting a t-shirt proclaiming his love of mullets. Ack!

  15. Wow, that pic looks EXACTLY like my brother-in-law!