Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Taking advantage of a window of pain relief that can only be brought about by a complex and perfectly-timed cocktail of three different medications, and that only once a day or so, to check in here. So forgive me if this is addled and incoherent (moreso than usual, in any case).

Some observations:

You know you've been in pain for a while when: You can differentiate narcotic pain-relieving medications in the dark by the sounds the pills make when you shake the bottles.

You know you're on serious pain medication when: You invest five minutes in an unsuccessful attempt to remove your bra, because you've forgotten that it's a front-clasp, and are futilely spinning it around your midsection looking for the hooks.

And What's With The Singing?

I'm looking at you, Bella. The waking up at 2:00 AM and then not being able to go back to sleep unless I sing to you for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. Seriously, that's ridiculous. Fortunately, tanked up on Demerol, I'm a pretty good show. It's funny the songs you'll come up with, as a parent, after you've run through the basic repertoire of lullabies and children's songs, and you're just trying to come up with anything you know the words to. That means that you, Bella, get lots of Beatles, particularly the song I sang to you the night you were born, the first time we were alone, "Here, There, and Everywhere," and then pretty much the entire Seargent Pepper's album. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" (gruesome? maybe, but it cracked me right the heck up when I was your age) naturally segues into my other childhood favorites, which my mom would play and sing for me, so we get in some Joe Cocker, Three Dog Night, Ike & Tina (like me, you think that "funkier than a mosquito's tweeter" is one of the better phrases in all of contemporary music), CCR, and of course, more Beatles.

When those run out, we hit the blues. Lots of Ray Charles, the early years. "At Last," as sung by Etta James (I wish), "Do You Know What It Means (To Miss New Orleans)," "Tin Roof Blues," and "Birth of the Blues." You only stopped me once to quiz me about such things as what is a "frail", why are they in jail, and what are they wailing about?

From there, I won't lie, it's on to showtunes. Because these are the songs, aside from hymns, that I know all the words to. Select numbers from "Porgy And Bess" (like me, you love to hear your mommy sing "Summertime," although my mommy did it better), "West Side Story," "CATS," "Oklahoma," "South Pacific," etc...always winding up with "The Sound Of Music." Because once I've been through the entire SoM catalog, I am DONE. And you're usually asleep before I can get through "Climb Every Mountain," anyway. Your favorite from that collection is easily "(These Are A Few Of) My Favorite Things." To which we've added a verse, which I wrote down one night so we wouldn't forget it:

Fairy-tale princesses
and spaghetti noodles;
Puzzles, and the muzzles
of wee puppy poodles;
Ridiculous songs that your Mommy will sing;
These are a few of your favorite thiiiiiiiiings...

Sweet blue-eyed girls
who give kisses and squeezes;
Hearing, "I love you,"
and "Bless you!" after sneezes;
Knowing you'll love me
Whatever life brings;
These are a few of MY favorite thiiiiiiings...

When the dog bites---
(dissolve into laughter at the thought of a dog BITING, then go on to the next song)

Yeah. You're kinda fun, even in the dead of night. But seriously, can we get some sleep tonight? Like, the whole night through? Please? Because when Mommy's sleeping, nothing's hurting, you see. Let's give it a shot, eh?

And for me, the light is almost visible, just a hint of it, toward the end of the tunnel. More on that later, for now I am fading.


  1. I'm happy to hear from you. I'm glad that light is visible.

  2. Like Cece, it is SO good to hear from you again. My day just isn't the same without my Ninja Poodle fix!

    I hope you soon need sunglasses the light is so bright!

  3. Go to the light...but not that light...the other know which light I mean.

  4. I'm hoping you'll be performing tuck-in service at BlogHer. I'm also hoping I can stay awake through the blues section but that I'm totally out cold before you get into show tunes.

  5. Like everyone else, I am so glad to see you post.
    Did I ruin Bella by singing her to sleep the last couple of times she spent the night with me? Sorry. But if a child needs to be sung to, she could not have a better mother. I doubt anyone in the world would have a more eclectic collection of music in their head than you.
    I love your new verses to Favorite Things. I hope you'll preserve those so she can sing them to her child some day.
    Hope the pain is better tomorrow and soon to be only a bad memory.
    I love you, Baby Girl.

  6. (HUGS). Been very worried about you - glad to see you posting.

  7. I'm so glad you are feeling a little better, I've been worried about you! Those verses to Favorite Things are the sweetest! "Wee puppy poodles"-awww!

  8. I've been so worried about you. I'm glad you're feeling able to post a bit of an update, and even gladder (I know, so sue me) that you still have your sense of humor intact.

    Love your extra verse. And I miss you terribly.

  9. Take care of yourself and know we're all thinking of you!

  10. Take care Belinda, I'm praying for you

    I like the singing - I forgot about Favorite things. In the wee hours all I ever remember is the brahms lullaby melody, so I made up the words

    Stephanie, little girl,
    you are so very tired,
    close your eyes,
    lay down your head,
    go to sleep my little girl.
    Stephanie, my sweet child,
    it is time now for bed,
    close your eyes,
    rest your head,
    sleep little girl

    Works for me!

  11. I love your verses to the song! I do end up singing the strangest things to my toddler . . . Luckily he doesn't know if I get the words right or not.

    I know what you mean about the medications--I'm not in pain at the moment, but I have been. And I'm on enough medications to actually forget what they're called when asked, I get the generic and the brand names confused, and some of the pills look alike in the dark. I now take a total of FOUR different prescriptions for my health problems, but it will be FIVE when I finally get to the pharmacy to pick up my newest prescription.

    My spelling and thought are off this late, so I hope I actually wrote in English! I do love the puzzles, muzzles and poodles part the best! So cute! I've been dreaming my sweetie has been visiting me from Heaven--I think he really has been visiting me. I hope he visits again tonight, as soon as I finally get to sleep. Hope you get to sleep, too.


  12. You know you want to sing "You got the Look" or "When Doves Cry"! Can you make that noise that the doves are supposed to make? If the doves around my house start making that noise I'm calling animal control. Take care of yourself!

  13. "You know you've been in pain for a while when: You can differentiate narcotic pain-relieving medications in the dark by the sounds the pills make when you shake the bottles."

    My wife can do that with hundreds of different medications and in different sizes and styles of bottles. Of course she works in a pharmacy so she has an unfair advantage, but still and all the same.

  14. I hope you sleep the whole night through tonight.

    ps - I love the Sound of Music, its my favorite film, excellent song choice!

  15. My heart goes out to you... Hope you feel better.

  16. Belinda, I worry when you doon't post. You gotta be really sick.
    I am envious because my kids said, "mama. don't sing." Myfavorite show tunes are the songs from Fiddler on the Roof. As Bella grows and time passes, "Sunrise, Sunset" will make you cry too. See that doctor as soon as you can. Gotta get happy again--life's too short too miss a minute. I hope to see you Friday, but if you don't feel like it, I understand. I'm bringing some chicken tetrazini, my old standby. How about some chocolate cake? Love, Lynette

  17. Glad to see you posting.

    And I love your version of "My Favorite things."

  18. I love the poodle part of My Favorite Things - great! I'm glad you're doing at least a little better. We missed you!

  19. We all need to pitch in for a spa vacation for Belinda --- or a part-time lullaby singer, for those times when you just can't rhyme anymore!

    Feel better, girlie! :)

  20. That was one of my favorite posts from you. I'm renting out the bar in the hotel and am setting up karaoke so that I can sit in the audience and request song after song from you. I promise not to fall asleep, either.

  21. Hi Belinda
    As a fibromyalgia person, I sure get the "knowing which pills they are in the dark by sound" thing!(unfortunately)
    Glad you "came by" to see the puppy-he is already twice as big. AND lifting his tiny leg ALREADY when he pees- what a little...MAN, LOL

    I am gifting my two daughters and my best friend with some of your soaps- but keeping myself a bunch too. It is a little treat to wash my hands, every time.
    Get better soon!

  22. Dear Belinda,

    You made me cry again, this post was so achingly sweet. I am so glad God gave you Bella to be your beautiful shining light in the darkness of your pain. (If only she would shine a bit less bright in the wee hours, huh?)

    (The verses you wrote for "Favorite Things" are better than the originals. And your mom's comment made me teary too, because I call Juli my Baby Girl. How frustrated and helpless your mom must feel!) Anyway, I hope you have many more and longer pain-free intervals ahead!