Sunday, June 25, 2006

Crashed In Nashville

We're stuck. The Methadone, she's makin' me crazy. I tossed and turned, miserable and dizzy, until 4 A.M., when I experienced a full-out panic attack and woke Alex, acting plenty crazy, I'm sure. (He can tell you that part, if he likes. I don't remember much except being convinced I was going to die and planning auditions for his next wife--so I could approve her, you know.)

This left Alex, who has an upper-respiratory infection coming on anyway, majorly sleep-deprived. We hit the road anyway, like idiots, not realizing how bad we felt, and made it as far as the Memphis side of Nashville before coming to the unanimous conclusion that this was as far as we were gonna make it today.

(Melissa, if you're reading this, expect a call!)

So now Alex and I are prostate upon the cushy beds of a nice, newer Hampton Inn, and Bella is happily tucked into a double-bed beside me, under her purple monkey blanket and wearing her "monkey and a guy" sleep-shirt, watching "Ice Age: The Meltdown" on hotel PPV. To say we're hoping for a nap would be the understatement of the year.

Someday, I'm sure, I will see my home again. In the meantime, if you'd like to apply for the position of Alex's next wife and mom to Bella in the event of my untimely demise, and are a LESS ATTRACTIVE woman than me, go ahead and send me a resume'. (Mr. Fabulous, you are not eligible.)

10 comments:

  1. That is SO not fair.

    Can I at least apply for a position as a houseboy or something? How about a nanny?

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  2. Don't worry about a thing- I'll head over there in the morning (Monday) to take care of the critters then! Dogs are all doing great (despite needing baths, especially the puppies- after being cooped up in their kennels AND braving the downpour this morning). Horses are all good too..they had their dinner tonight and are all set for the evening.

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  3. Ah ha ha ha ha... Sorry, I had to laugh at that last line. Perfect! Too bad, so sad Mr.Fab. You lose out!

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  4. Do the horses and dogs come with Alex and Bella? Then count me IN. Of course, with my allergies....

    But then again, I'm familiar with how to live with bipolar disease and I'm sometimes almost as funny as you. Plus I come with a girl and a boy.

    Sorry you both feel like such crap. I've got great friends (and my boss) in Nashville, if you need anything. They're WAY cool, and have a daughter that could babysit, if you need it. She's the same age as the B&G and yes, I know her well enough to recommend her (or her gorgeous brilliant older bro). Oh, and they have a kid who is 4 and might be a good pal for Bella to hang with if you need some time. Just email me.

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  5. I hope things got better quickly...thinking of you.

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  6. Feel better soon and have a safe drive home.

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  7. Ahhh. No fun. I was kind of wondering how that methadone business was going to go for you. That's such an intense drug. Hope things even out soon, one way or the other!

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  8. My Mom told my dad she wanted a portrait of her done dripping with jewels. I asked why and she said that way Dads next wife would go nuts looking for all the jewelry! Gotta love Mom.

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  9. All indications point to the fact that you are about 2 miles from my house.

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  10. And about 4 miles from mine. Unbe friggin lievable.

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