Wednesday, April 05, 2006

To The Pair Of Black Ducks Who Play Chicken With My Truck In The Street In Front Of The Goat Farm Every Day

It is so ON, you pothole-swimming freaks.

And your giant rooster friend? Him, I'm aiming for.

On deck for tonight: "Brokeback Mountain." On the one hand, I'm rather proud of my secure-in-his-masculinity husband for renting it all on his own, with no prompting from me. On the other hand, I'd feel better if he'd stop calling it "Humpback Mountain," and singing, a la' Willie Nelson, "Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to hump cowboyyyyys....."

31 comments:

  1. Poor little black ducks...they don't have a chance!

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  2. Just out of curiousity, why do you got to a goat farm every day?

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  3. I have to pass it to get to my house--it is ON my street! Seriously, there are at least 100 goats at this place, and for some reason, all manner of fowl who choose to live in the street.

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  4. We watched it last night....there is one scene that is a little uncomfortable to watch...and there's nudity (both male and female). It's honestly not that great of a movie. I don't see what all the hype was about. BUT, I'm glad I watched it b/c now my gay cowboy curiousity has been quenched!

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  5. I just got BBM from Netflick today and will watch it tomorrow. My DH has no desire to see it, not because of the homosexuality (that doesn't bother him at all) but because it is about cowboys...he finds movies about them annoying. LOL

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  6. alex is awesome. i am pro-humping in all its forms. (sorry belinda's mom)

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  7. Anger management, darlink, anger management. Just what are those duckies doing to you? Roosters, ok, they're annoying. But ducks. Save the ducks!

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  8. You are SO lucky to live near a goat farm. All we have nearby is a donkey farm.

    That Alex sure is a card.

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  9. too funny. both driving problems and husband singing.

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  10. Why waste your own energy on the pothole swimmers? Send out the ninjas!!

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  11. melissa, I pretty much felt the same way. Aside from a stunning (really, amazingly good) performance from Heath Ledger, and some beautiful scenery, I didn't find that much to love about this movie. I'm going to read the Annie Proulx short story, though, and see what might be there that makes it better.

    kristina--it might be a good call on your DH's part, because these cowboys are rather annoying, regardless of their sexual orientation! Ennis was more of a sympathetic character than Jack, but still...they just didn't give us *enough*, you know? We were also given NOTHING of the motivations and interior workings of the cheated-on wives in this film, especially the one who KNEW what was going on. She stayed for years after she knew, never confronting her husband with her knowledge, miserable all the time, and we don't know WHY. That's why I'm thinking going to the written form is a good idea.

    jenb--I know you are, dear. We love you.

    margalit--you would not want to save THESE ducks. Seriously; you're a duck. You live on a farm. You choose to spend at least 80% of your time in the STREET, even "nesting" in the muddy runoff from the goat-waste on the side of the street. Something is not right about that, and if there were duck mental hospitals, you would be in one, if you were that duck!

    Mr. Fab.--I'd rather it were a donkey farm, but I thank the goat farm in one respect--it drove the price of this place down to where we could afford it, I suspect. The previous owners said they had a tremendous amount of interest in the house, up until the point that people had to pass the goat farm to get here (whereas the first time I passed it, and said, "Look! Goats!" I am pro-goat, as long as they do not live on, or next door to, my property--see my "stray goat" post in the archives). It's not close to our house, but you do have to pass by it, and it's not pretty. And I can only imagine how it's going to smell come August.

    Ally--maybe I should have Alex sing to the ducks?

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  12. A goat farm!

    We have a running joke about goats in our family, started long ago by a friend of ours who gives us goat stuff and reminds us that our condo rules only say no dogs, not no goats!

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  13. leslie--it's not a "high-end" goat farm, either, and instead of having the goats behind the house (which, actually, they may very well be back there, too, as far as I know), they're right out front, and every inch of the goat enclosures are dirt/mud/goat poop. They have all these milk crates lying around for some reason, and the goats climb them, and over the fences, and out into the street themselves fairly often. I kind of feel bad for the immediate neighbors, because as I understand it, those homes were there first, and then the Sanford & Son goat farm went in.

    I should actually be making friends with them and getting milk for my soap, shouldn't I?

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  14. Belinda, still haven't found you any hay. I'm still looking!!

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  15. kevin--they could definitely handle the mission (ask all my dead Araucana chickens), but the place is far enough from our property that extraction post-op would be a problem. I mean, I could air-drop them in, but getting them back out...hmmm. Will give it some thought.

    kari, thanks! I still have them out in the yard, with the gate open so they can come and go at will if they want grass. I haven't checked up around Rosebud yet, must do that today.

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  16. LOVE IT! Can't wait for the Humpback Review.

    My ongoing in-car monologue for squirells, dog walkers and anyone else in my path is:

    I'm going to TAKE YOU OUT. Don't THINK I won't...

    Thanks for making me LAUGH.

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  17. I enjoyed the movie (tho of course I liked the short story better). But I thought Jake was just as good (if not better than) Heath and cannot understand the Oscar nominations. Can someone clear this up?

    Also-- I did a post about finding the Perfect Epithet in this movie-- I know everyone talks about "I wish I knew how to quit you" but I much preferred the line "This is a goddam bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!"

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  18. Why is no one filming you? On a regular basis? WHY? WHY?

    A 24-hour, non-stop, housefull of video cameras mounted in every room. I'd watch Channel Belinda all day.

    Think on it.

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  19. Anne, I HOWLED at that line, all because of you, and even Alex remembers me talking about your post that day!

    I guess they just didn't "give" me enough about Jake...or anything, really, until it was too late. Also, it may have had something to do with the actors--Heath Ledger just seemed to have to go a lot further from "himself" to get to that role than Jake G. did...I mean, the accent alone--for an Aussie? Great job, and I didn't hear it slip one time! (Pet peeve of mine with actors who take on foreign accents)

    And Jake got to play his part on a more open and surface level, which would seem to me to be easier than the understated, muffled, mumbling, repressed role that Heath tackled.

    The line WE will be repeating around here? "Let the stud-duck handle that." STUD DUCK? What the??

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  20. mochaaaaaah...they wouldn't. watch. Not after the first shower scene. Besides, you are hardly a representative demographic of any television market, because you, too, are deranged. I enjoy the camaraderie, though, so don't change a hair.

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  21. Hi Belinda...I'd love to swap recipes, and no, I do not believe the dumplins and biscuit are the same (it's been ages since I made either), but I'll nail them down, and either post or email them to you.

    Thanks for coming by, and I'll be waiting for an im memorium on the ducks...
    Captain Mom

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  22. If I were a duck, living at a goat farm I would be so appalled, that I TOO may choose to exercise my protest by bathing in the street. Really, Belinda ... they're just trying to make a statement, and if you kill one it would make a martyr and we all know how this story goes.

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  23. CM--My biscuits only have 3 ingredients, and I "drop" them into stock for dumplings. Easy!! And I may reprieve the ducks, if they can be reasoned with. We'll see.

    IE--You know, you're right. That hadn't occurred to me...if they'd stay in their pothole I could at least go around them. But one or both always seem to be standing right in the middle of the road, staring down traffic!

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  24. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! oh! hump cowboys! ah! ha ha ha!

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  25. I heard they're making a sequel called "Brokeback Mountain 2: Fashion Kills." It's about a community of fashion designers living in the hills. Two men in the community are straight and have to hide it (and their girlfriends).

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  26. That makes me really want to bring my hubby to blogher. My spidey senses tell me our hubbies would have more fun than us.

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  27. Did you guys make gay jokes throughout the entire movie?? We did...it wasn't hard to do!!

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  28. Check it out: http://www.starz.com/features/brokebackmountain/index.html

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  29. "pothole-swimming freaks" LOL!

    And a "high-end goat farm". Is that like "gourmet Cheez-Whiz"?

    I'm going to read your other goat post. You might appreciate this one written by my sister who bought a goat last year.

    http://bloogrssblog.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_bloogrssblog_archive.html

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  30. Ha, ha, ha! Very good. Your hubby sounds funny. I am with you about ducks. Dumb ducks. With the bird flu thing here in Germany the German has started aiming for the pigeons that next not far from here. The only thing that stops him, is that he does not want his car to get dirty.

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  31. Out my way, it's the cottontail rabbits who sit by the side of the road, little gray bodies twitching at the thought of darting in front of my car.

    The Suicide Bunnies.

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