It's taken me this long to talk about it because it was so disturbing. I am referring to the unsettling display of schadenfreude by my husband, in the aftermath of the LSU/Duke "upset." The play-by-play, the color commentary, the camerawork, and, indeed, the officiating for the entire game had been all about Duke. If you watched, you know this. If you didn't, just trust me. Whenever things went Duke's way, well, that was God's Plan. When LSU managed to get in there and do something, it was a fluke; it was Duke "letting" it happen; Duke was having "a bad night." My point is, the coverage of this game? Kinda one-sided.
So when the game was over, LSU having won in an upset, it was like the network just couldn't reconcile itself to the fact. The cameras stayed on Duke players, fans, and their coach--the one with the name spelled something like "krcvczkrzwskyz" and pronounced something like "Johnson." The camera was particularly transfixed on J. J. Reddick*, who was openly weeping. And this is what I heard from my normally loving, emotionally generous and empathetic husband:
"Awww. Is J. J. Reddick crying? Poor baby." He pauses momentarily, and when he resumes, I swear he sounds just a little bit like Gollum.
"I wish someone would save those tears in a jar, and mail them to me, so I could taste them. I bet they taste sweet."
At least he didn't say, "Precioussssss."
*Star player for Duke, called by Sports Illustrated "the most-reviled man in college basketball," but said by those who know him to actually be a nice sort of guy.