Saturday, March 11, 2006

I Will Not Touch It

Actual conversation from our bedroom, late at night:

"Hey, Honey...check this out."


"No, here--feel this!"


"Come ON! Put your hand right here."

"NO! I am not touching that thing! I HATE that thing!"

"Please? Seriously! (grabs my hand, as I fight to get it back) Put your fingers right across here, and feel it!"

"Alex, STOP IT! You know that thing creeps me out, and I AM NOT TOUCHING IT!"


I scream bloody murder, and this all goes on for some time.

He has a piece of sharp, cast-iron shrapnel--from a really stupid accident involving a lawn tractor and a T-post driver a few years ago--embedded in the muscle of his right forearm. It occasionally migrates close enough to the surface so that it can be seen and felt, and when he moves his hand around, the metal chunk moves, and this all holds an extremely high gross-out factor for yours truly, a fact of which he is well aware. *shudder*

Filthy-minded little beggars, every one of you.


  1. So I guess you won't want to touch my defibrillator, which is about a 3" square piece of metal that sticks out of my left shoulder, and yes, you can see and feel it and it is totally gross. Ugh.

  2. Why wasn't it removed? Just curious...

  3. I get the heebee jeebees when Terry shows me how loose his front tooth is!

  4. LOL... I am male. Of course I am filthy minded.

    It seems odd they didn't remove it. What happens if that thing migrates to a vital organ?

  5. Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww.

    But I totally want to touch it in July.

  6. margalit--oh, I'm so glad you have it. And if I had to, for your sake, for some reason, I could deal with it, but just for grins? No, I don't want to touch it!

    crystal--they said that, even with x-ray, it would be an actual surgery, and would probably open his arm up to get to it. Which would have been my choice, as I could not stand to have a foreign body right in my arm. But Alex just...left it in there. And he insists it does NOT migrate. To me it seems like it's a lot closer to the surface at times, but he says I'm WRONG.

    theresa--yup. That's not good. To me.

    n8iv--it doesn't move that much, and hubby insists it doesn't move at all. But I'm with you--I'd have the stupid thing out. It's like part of his body now, because his own tissue has encapsulated it. Eeeeewww.

    QoS--That made me laugh right out loud! Alex says you may touch the gross but fascinating arm-shrapnel.

  7. Ewww that is pretty disturbing. I think I'd want it out if I were him. I have a piece of lead from a pencil in my right hand that has been there since I was like 6 and even that bothers me.

  8. A common phrase in our family, "Hey, you married in."

  9. "Filthy-minded little beggars, every one of you."

    ..and just what did you think we were thinking?

  10. You had me at hello. Seriously - my dirty mind was working overtime. Whoa. :)

  11. A couple more pieces of metal and he could be well on his way to being a cyborg.

    Way cool.

  12. Of course my mind was in the gutter, silly girl.

    That would gross me out, too.

  13. melissa, me too!!

    shannon, I can't believe you said that, because Alex is ALWAYS saying, "You married me." I assert that I was tricked.

    dreamwalker--I dunno, but it had to be something grotesque, no?

    Karen--well, DUH. ;-)

    Mr. Fab--Do I get to pick the Cyborg parts? I keep thinking 6 Million Dollar Man...