Saturday, February 25, 2006

Bowel Envy

All right, we all know I'm frequently constipated. I've had a section of my bowel removed, and since then, well, there are chronic pooping difficulties. But still...there is no accounting for the way my husband's mind works. He got up late last night to use the facilities, for that particular purpose, and, well...let's just say it was an instantaneous process. When I express surprise bordering on concern over this phenomenon, this is his reply:

"Don't be a hater."

10 comments:

  1. OMGoodness, I know EXACTLY what you mean!! I go MAYBE every other day, and it takes me like 10 minutes. Hubby, he goes, what, three times a day?!? And it takes him just twice as long as his pee.. WAIT?!? Uhh.. should I have just announced that for the world?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't see why not. Every female blogger on the planet (except for margalit) is constipated. What killed me was my husband just assuming I envied his colonic prowess. "Don't be a hater." What a goober I married.

    ReplyDelete
  3. dude, i am reverse constipated. remember? since we are sharing.....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Since this is "Share the State of Your Bowels Sunday," I will just add that I am fairly... uh...regular. But just once a day, thank goodness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. You know this will be repeated at, uh, dinner parties everywhere

    Feel like there should be some profound meaning--like everybody laughs at poop stories--even if they pretend not to--so everybody should be able to get alon

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aww, I wish that was my problem. Nope, for me, it's diarrhea 2-7 times a day. Ugh. But I still have to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Nevertheless, while it isn't the same problem as I experience, I empathize! I hate bathrooms...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nope, our home is full of poop stoppers. Metamucil and various prune juice companies make a mint off our family.

    ReplyDelete
  8. mr. fab--the two of you shall never, EVER meet. Especially not after the refrigerator incident.

    erin s--I'm the lucky gal on both ends of the spectrum! Got a full stock of Lomotil AND Fleet baby enemas. Wheee!

    maidink--I can't do the prune juice. I have to stick with whole grains and Benefiber.

    ReplyDelete