Most bizarre conversation today:
Me: "You should see what's going on outside." (it was a beautiful, warm day, so dogs were playing out in the dog yard). "Buddy is standing at the fence, nose to nose with the poodles, making them NUTS. While they bark their heads off and jump up and down, he just stares at them, stock-still, and twitches his tail. It's hilarious."
Alex: "He's lonely, I think."
Me: "Well, maybe when we get moved, since we've got the great fencing, we can adopt another cat for him."
Alex: "Are we planning on trying to take Buddy?"
Me: (blank stare, much blinking, huge disbelieving eyes) "Are we taking him--WHAT DO YOU THINK?" (Imagining real estate contract reading, "Pleasant tabby conveys with property.")
Alex: "How are we going to get him there?"
Me: (dumbfounded) "Um, I thought we'd put him in a carrier, drive him the 5 miles to the new house, let him out."
Alex: "How are we going to catch him?"
Me: (falling farther and farther down the rabbit-hole of my husband's mind) "Well, I generally go outside and say, 'Kitty, kitty, kitty,' and when he comes running up to me, I pick him up."
Alex: (Dissolves into laughter at himself.)
Me: "He's not a PUMA, you know. Are you thinking we'll need some Wild Kingdom equipment? Tranq guns and those big traps with the sliding doors like they use to move the lions?"
Alex: Laughs hysterically.
He is his own best audience. I honestly have NO idea what he was thinking. Buddy is 14 years old, and hardly a feral cat. This was the weirdest conversation we had today. And that's saying something.