I admit it freely--I, like a good portion of other female and a good many male bloggers, bought* the January 2006 issue of Glamour magazine, for its toward-the-back "article" (read it, and you'll understand the quotation marks), "Women Who Blog." I enjoyed seeing the faces and reading the stories of the ladybloggers, even if they were somewhat trivialized, in my opinion, by the tone of the piece...but then, dang it, I had this whole magazine left over, and I wanted my $4 worth. And I was bored, and there was just all this FOOTBALL.
So anyway, after gazing in amazement at the striking, 7-foot-tall Heather in her crisp button-down shirt, I started flipping through the rest of the magazine. Easy to do, really. It's written on about a 4th or 5th-grade level, and the messages of this issue seemed to be mixed ones, like, "Yaaay, Women--you are great! Are you SURE you're pleasing your man in bed?" and "Girl-Power! Curves are back! Have confidence in your body the way it is! OH, and here's our review of diet books, and several pages of exercises featuring Helga the Genetically-Engineered Superbabe!"
So I was reading the little capsules in the front of the magazine about the Glamour Women of the Year Awards, at which one of the recipients was Diane von Furstenberg. Now, she is indeed a woman to be reckoned with, and a businessperson to admire. She has accomplished great things in her field. Aaaaaand...here is the quote which surprised me--not only that Ms. von Furstenberg said it, but that out of everything she may have said while accepting her award, these were the words that Glamour decided to print:
"Everywhere I go, I meet strong women. In fact, in my company, men drive or clean!"
Whoa. Can you even imagine the public furor if the genders were reversed in this case? "Yes, we employ lots of women. They make great coffee, and they smell nice!" Maybe it's just me, and I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. But I do know one thing--if I were a man working in any of von Furstenberg's corporations, I'd be tacking that little quote up on my wall for use in the building of my future gender-discrimination case.
Beyond that, this magazine is full of useful stuff! You should totally go get one!** I also really enjoyed the article titled "Cheap, Chic Weekend-Wear," which featured a little white $300 dress, and a cute cropped $995 jacket to go with it. How fantastic! Man, I was spending WAY too much on my weekend-wear, but with advice like this, no more!
There's also great advice on dramatic up-dos, for those of us with thick lustrous hair of all one length, that length being at least 2 feet, and two extra people to help put it up. Practical!
And Penelope Cruz is more beautiful, with apparently zero effort (aside from those vitamins that Heather takes), than any of us can ever hope to be. No message here, except that maybe if we buy all the products featured in Glamour, and meticulously study all the "Glamour Don'ts", and learn them by heart--there is a "TOP FIFTY STYLE GOOFS" article in here, just the TOP FIFTY, UNDERSTAND (and keep up-to-date, because today's "Do" is tomorrow's "Don't"), maybe, just maybe, we can deflect or obscure our natural hideousness just long enough to snag a man and have the chance to put into use what we learned in Glamour's pages about "How To Give Him What HE Wants."
Hmmmm. Suddenly, I don't know if I'm quite as offended by Diane von Furstenberg's remarks...it appears that we gals may be our own worst enemy. What's up, Girlfriends?
Incidentally, there was also an ad I've never seen before, for a product whose exact application still eludes me, even after some investigation, but I do know that it is "not for sale" in Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, and Virginia. Just reading its website description, which isn't much of an actual description, per se, it sounds to me like an awkward Emergency Room visit just waiting to happen.
*By which I mean, I sent my intrepid husband to Walgreen's for a copy of Glamour and a Neti pot and some Sinucleanse...and bless his heart, he went.
**By which I mean, you should send your husband, or someone else who is not you.