Friday, January 20, 2006

How You Can Tell...

...That You Live In Arkansas:

1. There is a billboard on the interstate that begins with, "Remember..." The rest of the admonition is not "to buckle your seatbelt," or "to drive carefully," but "to tag your deer immediately!"

2. You're listening to a radio spot in which "man on the street" interviews are being conducted regarding public awareness of the Emergency Preparedness Program of an area military arsenal. When one man is asked what he would do in case of emergency, he replies, and I quote: "Well, if I had access to my vehicle, I reckon I'd just run off!"

...That You And Your Spouse Are Saturated In Film Culture:

1. Upon hearing the above quote on the radio, you and your spouse turn to each other and channel "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" shouting gleefully, "R-U-N-N-O-F-T!"

2. While painting your new house, radio blasting, the song, "Stuck in the Middle With You," by the one-hit wonder Stealer's Wheel comes on. You do not happily reminisce about your childhood and the pleasant times associated with the music. No. Instead, you and your spouse BOTH start dancing around exactly like Michael Madsen in "Reservoir Dogs," weilding your paintbrushes like straight-razors, as if you're about to slice each other's ears off. Oh, yeah.
...That Your Spouse Needs His Hearing Checked:

When you ask him if he'll get you a B.C. Powder, and he asks you why in the world you want "feces powder."

9 comments:

  1. Oh, my gosh! Seriously? I guess it's more of a "Southern thang" than I knew! http://www.bcpowder.com/ Basically, it's a combination of Tylenol, aspirin, and caffeine, much the same formula as Excedrin, but in powder form, so it works really quickly. Tastes horrible, so you have to chase it with juice or soda, but the best OTC headache remedy you can buy, in my opinion!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, and I don't know if drugstore.com ships to Canada, but you can get it there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. tylenol AND aspirin? i don't think you are even supposed to mix the two!

    we have 222s here, which are over the counter, cheap, tyelnol and codeine baby!

    ReplyDelete
  4. JenB, you may ship me a case of those immediately. And more chocolate, please.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OK...how you can tell...

    I had to go to Izard County Friday to the funeral of my friend Jeff's grandfather.

    On the way back to Conway, in the small town of Batesville there was a roadside fruit/vegetable stand with a sign that said....

    "HO-MADE jelly" Oh, the imagery...I wished, I wished I had my camera, so I could have taken a photo for your blog!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lisa, I would absolutely have posted that. And I am DEFINITELY not eating any ho-made jelly. I would buy some, though, if it said that on the label, and I would send it to JenB and she would laugh and laugh and laugh. When are you coming to see my new house??

    ReplyDelete
  7. okay, okay, okay. um.

    R-U-N-N-O-F-T!

    feces powder!!

    i am LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD for a rainy monday morning in the quietest office in the world...

    thanks!

    ReplyDelete