Friday, December 30, 2005

Cool Art

It was through an affiliate program that I discovered the art of Dale Moses. The colors and the composition grabbed me. I've already bought two of his pictures for the new house--This for Bella's bathroom:
And this one for the kitchen:
I'm going to get the poppies pictured in the banner below as soon as I figure out which size will work best. (Pat, if you're visiting, the desert boots SO put me in mind of you!)

( link in sidebar under "shopping")

Pillow Talk

"Honey, why does your pillowcase smell like kettle corn?"

"Well, it's gotta smell like something, right?"

and later...

"No, I do not wish I had a penis. I suspect it makes you stupider."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You'd probably have conquered cold fusion by now if you didn't have one."

(pause) "You mean, instead of learning how to light my farts?"

Intermission

Still uploading and composing. In the meantime, please go read Molly. Please. If you haven't been paying attention, it'll scare the crap out of you. If you have been paying attention...well, you'll just be a little sadder. I'm sorry. I wish there were something I could doto make it stop--really I do.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Snips And Snails And Puppy Dog Tails

We just took the babies' dewclaws off, and the tips of their sweet little tails...it's way more traumatic on me than it is them, thank goodness. But then Bella was wanting us to trim her tail; However, when Daddy came at her with the hemostats, she recanted.

I'm still having computer issues, so hope you all understand why my blog visits have dropped off--I still love you all, really I do!! I hope to have my Christmas report up by tomorrow, because it really was quite a time. I've also been involved in this project (and you just thought poodle people were nuts).

Alex's mom, bless her heart, had to stay in the hospital a couple of days last week, so Alex took Bella (I was forbidden due to possible contagion from me) up to surprise her. She had forbidden anyone to visit once she got home, and quite sternly. This, of course, had less than zero effect on MY husband. He took Bella, stood her on his Mom's porch holding a gift in her hands, then hid around the corner and called her on his cell phone to tell her that UPS had delivered a perishable package...so she opened the door to Bella yelling, "Merry Christmas to you Grandmommy Lynette!!" I think it went over well.

So in the meantime, there are some new photos up on my flickr pages, and here is a shot of my beautiful sister's beautiful boy, and my own beautiful girl--hey, if they don't look like Andrea and me, at least they look like each other!: And I wish you this kind of sheer, exuberant JOY (Delta on Christmas Day): Oh, and flickr questions: How do I get contacts, and how do I know when people have commented on a picture?

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Arbiter Of Good Taste

My husband, that is. Just now, scrolling through TiVo descriptions of upcoming shows, and happens upon an episode of "Cops."

Alex: "Oh, I have to watch this one."

Me: "Why?"

Alex: "NAKED SUSPECT."

Monday, December 26, 2005

Choose Your Own Caption

Or make another one up altogether. The guideline is "classic movies."

My submission is, "But you ARE in the chair, Blanche! You ARE!"
While JenB offers, "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!"

And if that's not enough to tide you over until the real Tales of Christmas Reverence, Mayhem, and Tomfoolery are posted, well, then, here's a palmful of precious, petite, poodle pup. (Along with a little alliteration, for free!)

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Pondered

Luke 2:15-20
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (KJV)

Luke 2:14
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (KJV)

Luke 1:46-55
And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers." (KJV)

For the most beautiful thing I've read this year about the observation of Christmas, I defer to Ariel. Please read this post...it feels Divinely inspired.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Dogpile!

OK, a puppypile. And a small one at that. But soooo precious. Two girls and a boy. If they'd all been boys, they would SO have had the names of the three magi, Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar. Of course, that last would have caused confusion, the dog being black and all. Everyone is doing well, Mom and babes alike, and although #3 slipped out of her raffia collar during the night, I still know which one she is! And now, I have MAD wrapping to do, so for now... God Bless Us, Every One!!

...And An Hour Later...

Another girl, glory be! And I be tired as I can be! I'm still not sure we're done, though, so I guess I'll still be up awhile.

Friday, December 23, 2005

It's A Boy!

#1, that is.
















And #2 has made HER easy way out even as I typed that--hooray! Both pups out, pretty, and placentas expelled (can I just say here that I am eternally grateful that I was NOT required to eat my baby's placenta?). Here's #2 pup, the girl: Both are happily nursing, and I'm waiting to see if there's a #3 in there...I suspect so.

We're In Labor!

Not so much "we" as "Hope." I heard the tell-tale signs about an hour ago and went and put her in her whelping box. She's taking her time with this batch, she is, and for the first time ever, we don't know how many puppies to expect. Her puppy-counting x-ray was scheduled for about 7 hours from now! Contractions are now strong and regular, and I expect to see the first little one within the next minutes. Alex is making waffles, which I guess is as useful a thing as any for him to be doing. I'll post next when we have wee baby poodles, and if there are any nightowls up tonight, this is where I'll be! "mishahouse" on AIM. Wheee! Christmas puppies!

Last-Minute Gift Panic?

I'd like to recommend a favorite cause of ours, begun and headquartered right here in Little Rock, Arkansas. I'm speaking of Heifer Project, International. You can give ducks, chickens, sheep, cows, rabbits, goats...even water buffalo! Best of all, on short notice, it's perfect--they can send an adorable animated e-card--INSTANTLY--to the person you're giving in honor of. There are several to choose from. We used this one: A Gift Of Hope.

Your gift can be anywhere from $10 upwards. So you can give a gift of, say, a lamb...or "a share" of a lamb. It all adds up, and if you read Heiffer's philosophy, you will see that this truly is "the gift that multiplies."

Thursday, December 22, 2005

What NOT To Get Me For Christmas

Or EVER. Dubious thanks to Sue for the heads-up. It's a big ol' dead horse. On Ebay. For sale. Seriously--you may NOT want to click the link. But if you do, the phrases I would draw your attention to are:

"wonderful gift for horse-lover," " conversation piece for living room," and "Front right leg is missing..."

Mind you, this is "Old style taxidermy, not done anymore. " Methinks there is a reason for that.

Off to read from "Black Beauty" now. *shudder*

Sinus Infection Round-Up

I feel like hammered dog-poo, and can't raise my head to the standard upright and locked position for more than 30 seconds without tipping over, so I lie here, flat on my back with a laptop tipped up on my knees and regale you with the warped wonder that is my life. Some cute, some beyond ridiculous. I pretty much don't post the stuff in between, because it's boring. First of all, the pictures you can take while lying in bed are limited, but still have possibilities. I give you my companion in snottiness, my partner in lethargia, my bed-buddy, Bella. Still cute any way you look at her.OK, so we were watching the original movie version of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" this morning (yeah, I'm THAT GOOD a parent), which isn't exactly scary if your 3-year-old keeps laughing at the vampires--Pee-Wee Herman does not a scary fiend make, you know. At one point, Bella locks her arms around Delta, who is of COURSE lying across the top of us, and says, "I NEED DELTA!""Oh, you do?" I ask.

"Yes. She protects me from monsters."

"She does?"

"Yes. Big, scary, stupid MAN-monsters."

Well, her daddy will be glad to hear that, because his mission in life since Bella's birth is pretty much to keep his daughter forever away from the big stupid man-monsters.

So then Alex comes home for lunch, which is my opportunity to stagger into the shower for some much-needed cleansing. I'm a nice person, you understand, but when I stink, I am fun-KAY. And speaking of stank, that's when I noticed this in the bathroom:Now, Alex has always favored the "Powder Fresh" scent in his deodorant of choice, which has always kind of tickled me. But now, they've changed the packaging, and specified "WOMEN" right there on the label. To be fair, that label really doesn't indicate that the product is FOR women--could be that you put it on, and WOMEN come flying at you from all directions. I don't know. But of course I had to stagger my death-on-a-cracker-looking self back into the room where he was, sing-songing, "You use a girl deodorant!"

Alex: "I do not!"

Me: (showing him the word, "WOMEN" on the label) "HAHAHAhahahaaaa....I gotta lie down."

Alex: "Well, I'm...delicate." (gathering steam now, having been rewarded by my weak laughter) "It makes me feel special. It's like wearing panties. Without, actually, you know, having to wear panties."

Me: "You're stupid."

Alex: "You're stupid." We kiss. (Aaaaaaand....SCENE.)

And this one is from last night, and dedicated to Virginia Gal, to further illustrate the constant love-affair-fairy-tale-happily-ever-after ROMANCE that is marriage.

Alex: "Baby, I need you to look at something."

Me: (guarded sigh) "What?" (That opening line is sometimes followed by some unpleasant bodily locations of said "somethings." If he can't see it, it scares us both.)

Alex: "Yeah, there's something on the back of my ear. Will you see what it is?"

Me: (relieved sigh) "OK. Um...it looks like a tiny pimple."

Alex: "Are you sure? It feels like a tumor."

Me: "Well, then, I just popped your tumor. Go to sleep."

Alex: (in small, laughing voice) "If I can't see it, it's a tumor."

Me: (with a mental tip o' the hat to Nita) IT'S NOT A TOO-MAHH."

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Oh, The Bloggy Goodness!

It was a crummy day, because I have the galloping gump in my sinuses, and I am OUT of Effexor (Alice, help!!), but then some things happened--or rather I took note of them:

I don't know when it happened, but I've been linked by Her Royal Sweetness. Seriously. I'm apoplectic. I thought being so honored by JenB was the end-all; But no--there's more! Then came Laurie, and NotCalm, and Supa, and Doug, and Dave2, and Jess, and Ariel, and just... Wow! The love! I would so love to hang out with all these folks and so many more, you have no idea. Thank you all for thinking enough of me to come and visit...and anyone who does. It takes me a week to work through my Bloglines roll as it is, so I know what that means.

And speaking of sweetney, when I went to check out her rockin' Top Ten status according to Technorati on "blogs about Motherhood, ranked by authority" (don'tcha love that last part? My mother is reading this and laughing her ever-loving hindmost parts off right now), THERE I AM, with a toenail's hold on the #20 spot! Woo-hoo! Look quick, because it's bound to change in the next few hours. *

And sweet souls have nominated me for BOB Awards in the "Best New Blog" (ghost of a chance?) and "Best Mommy Blog" (FAT chance; We ALL be voting for Alice) categories.

And on the subject of Motherhood (yes, I capitalize it, dang it), if anyone has a line on any black-market laudanum or paregoric from Granny's cupboard, I will pay you dearly for it if you rush shipment. Just kidding. (Really not kidding. [makes phone-hand gesture] Call me.)

*Oh, and according to Technorati? Mine is THE Blog Authority on POODLES. Read it and weep.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Best of Blogs

Nominations are open now for the Best of Blog Awards, which are intended to be geared toward the "lesser known" blogs. Hurry, hurry--go and nominate your faves. I have...a lot! Clicky the button to go there now.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christian Battering Rams


As most of you know, I am a Christian--spiritually born-again, accepting and proclaiming Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I am also a non-supporter of the Bush administration, and live in a "red" state. That makes me something of a minority, both in my community and in my own church. But that's OK, because my personal church home is a very comfortable place because of the well-observed separation of church and state there. Our pastor doesn't politicize, nor should he. I don't want politics involved in my worship, nor do I want matters of faith imposing on matters of government. I DO want freedom to worship as I see fit.

What is weighing heavily upon my mind of late are what I am calling the "Battering Ram Christians." I'm looking at you, Focus on the Family, American Family Association, James Dobson, Pat Robertson (ugh), Concerned Women for America, et al. Why not look to examples such as Billy Graham, Rick Warren, and Jimmy Carter? And do you realize who started all this "War on Christmas" tempest in a teapot? Bill O'Reilly. That's right--from FOX News, "Your Source," as reported in a recent episode of "The Simpsons"... "For Evil." This Bill
O'Reilly, paragon of Christian values.

What I want to say is, KNOCK IT OFF. Just stop. Shut UP, already. Take a deep breath, and STEP BACK. Realize that you are doing more harm than good to Christianity and its real mission. Did The Great Commission mention anything about protesting dollmakers or boycotting retailers? If Jesus were here now, resuming his work, would he be more interested in A.) SpongeBob and Tinky-Winky, or B.) bringing ever more people into his fold to enjoy eternal bliss at his side? Would His primary concern be to wage a war of hatred and intolerance against homosexuals and peoples of other faiths or of no faith...or would he be among them, ministering and witnessing unto those very people?

Would Jesus be more concerned over man-made labels such as "liberal" and "conservative", or over bringing all people together in a spirit of love and compassion? YES, He would desire to bring all people to the Father, through Him, but I doubt that the battering ram favored by many fundamentalists today would be among of His tools of choice.

This idea was perfectly illustrated on last night's episode of, of all things, the animated T.V. series, "The Family Guy." Peter's father, a devout, near-maniacally observant Catholic, is visiting, and once again berating his son for marrying a Protestant and for not having baptised the infant Stewie. Brian (the talking dog) asks him:

"You really think splashing (air quotes) magic water on Stewie will keep him outta hell?"

Grandpa: "Watch that kinda talk, or you'll getcher heathen head SMACKED!"

Brian: "Well, that's very Christian: 'Believe what I say, or I'll HURT you.' "

Grandpa: "NOW you're gettin' it!" (smacks Brian off his chair with a Bible)

I just think that we, as Christians, could be of a lot more use in this world and beyond if we did a bit more ministering and witnessing--to everyone--and a bit less "smacking of heathen heads."

And as for this "War on Christmas?" Squash that noise, too. Just stop it. Don't throw a fit about the use of "Xmas," instead go and learn how it came about, and that 'X' is the first letter in the Greek word for 'Christ,' and came to be a symbol for Christ. Wanna learn more about Christmas and its traditions? This is an excellent place to start.

In short, in this season, my fellow Christians, celebrate, contemplate...consider deeply the meaning of the occasion we are marking, arbitrary as its date may be. Follow the example of Mary, who "...kept these things, and pondered them in her heart."

I love that.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

My Mom IS The Spirit of Christmas

Witness. We took some pictures the night of the office Christmas party, which she hosted at her home.We didn't even make it inside before we were shamed. And Mom is going to have my hide for this next one, but:
I mean...it IS a pair, so lends itself to the obvious cheap joke. When your balls are this size, they should be on display, right?Come in, and be greeted by DeNiro Santa. "You lookin'at me?" He's only the first of many, I assure you. There is a "more than equal-time" policy for Jesus, though, as the many Nativity scenes are given prominence over everything else.She had the dining room looking gorgeous;Alex and I hardly ever get to eat in there. I can't imagine why. Come on around into the kitchen now, and greet our hostess;Cheerily stirring the sauce for the bread pudding. Seriously, folks--how does she look younger than I do, and from whence cometh this energy?MMmmmmmm....the Super-Delicious Potatoes of Death. Sure, they'll kill you with saturated fat, but you won't care.This was table #2, in the kitchen dining area...Alex and I don't get to sit there, either.Santas are everywhere--resistance is futile.He sees you eyin' those pies.Don't try slipping out the back door, either.What, thought you'd get some Santa-sanctuary in the guest bathroom? The ho-ho-ho's on you, Bub!This is the centerpiece from the 4x4' "kids' table" where Alex and I sit on such occasions and plot pranks to play on the grownups.I'm assuming Mom picked this tree because they didn't have any BIG ones. Ha!

"But Belinda," you insist, "Surely you, being the queen of Southern Living that you are, have equally fabulous decorations adorning your home? The one you're about to move out of?" Well, since you asked...Um, in my kitchen? There's this festive poodle hair-dryer. I'm considering adding some fake snow or tinsel.

The full photo set is up on flickr .