Anyway, we're on pins and needles over here waiting for the Taylor/Hopkins rematch (UPDATE--our boy is STILL undefeated, and retains his World Champion title!) to start, so I have idle hands. And you know what they say about those...so I accomplished this. I TiVo'd Alice's segments frame-by-frame and snapped them with my digital videocam in still mode. Yeah. I've got that kind of time. And if you haven't seen the show yet, or can't, there are pretty good descriptions on her site, in her entries and the comments. As I was going through the frames, in silence, I couldn't help but put words into Alice's head based on her facial expressions. I'm sure they're not nearly as funny as whatever she was actually thinking, but really, I couldn't stop myself.
First up was the "Jingle Cats" segment, where it seemed we barely got a glimpse of our adored Alice. But slowed down to one frame at a time, that's a lot of meowing. Yup, she sang the "Jingle Cats" song. In "meows."
"HA!" (ed.-Darn, she's cute!)
"I kinda had the hots for the Heat-Miser." (from the look the HM is giving her, the feeling is mutual.)You heard me. (Again, HM seems to echo Alice's sentiments.) Are you judging me? Love is love, man. Don't act like you don't have any forbidden love skeletons in your closet! (Uh-oh, HM's famous temper is flaring...) One phone call to Misey, and you are sooooo toast. YEAH, Baby. Burn 'em. Burn 'em all!
Huh? Huh? Ohhh-HO! Didn't see this comin', didja? Puttin' on the lip-English now! You got something to say now? Do ya? Didn't think so! Punk. I can arch these babies right over the back of my head if I have to, and you don't want none o' that.
AND LASTLY, THE COMMENTARY ON SNL'S "HANNUKAH HARRY", PLAYED BY JON LOVITZ. THIS IS THE POINT IN THE INTERVIEW WHEN I BELIEVE THAT ALICE WAS ATTEMPTING TO BEND THE INTERVIEWERS TO HER WILL THROUGH CAREFULLY CONTROLLED EYEBROW MANIPULATION.
Of course, everything in italics was unspoken (not to mention unthought) by Alice, and is purely a product of my lame imagination. Great job, Alice--all the women of blogdom are wishing we were half as pretty with half as great a presence and melodious voice as you!