Saturday, December 03, 2005

What's Great About The Holidays With Finslippy...

...is what the show SHOULD have been about. Anyway, it's running in heavy rotation on Bravo right now, in four segments. Featured on two of those segments, with not nearly enough screen-time, is blogger extraordinaire, Finslippy. Finslippy was probably my first "must read every single day" blog, and I love her. Just love her. It was through her that I found JenB, and that's enough right there for her to have my undying devotion for life.

Anyway, we're on pins and needles over here waiting for the Taylor/Hopkins rematch (UPDATE--our boy is STILL undefeated, and retains his World Champion title!) to start, so I have idle hands. And you know what they say about those...so I accomplished this. I TiVo'd Alice's segments frame-by-frame and snapped them with my digital videocam in still mode. Yeah. I've got that kind of time. And if you haven't seen the show yet, or can't, there are pretty good descriptions on her site, in her entries and the comments. As I was going through the frames, in silence, I couldn't help but put words into Alice's head based on her facial expressions. I'm sure they're not nearly as funny as whatever she was actually thinking, but really, I couldn't stop myself.

First up was the "Jingle Cats" segment, where it seemed we barely got a glimpse of our adored Alice. But slowed down to one frame at a time, that's a lot of meowing. Yup, she sang the "Jingle Cats" song. In "meows."

Hey! What's this white bar zooming across my throat?

OH, it's gonna have my name on it? Well...OK, then. I guess.

Yeah. That's cool.

"Mmmm..."

"eeeeeee..."

"eeeeeoo..."

"oooooooo..."

"ooooowwwww..."

"wwwwwwwwww...."

Did I just meow for a national television show?

Yep, I did. I suuuuure did.

But juxtaposed against the guy who inflicted upon us the horror that is "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," I look pretty good, no? Darn straight!

Gonna have to laugh at myself...can't hold it in...

"HA!" (ed.-Darn, she's cute!)



THEN CAME THE 2-SECOND COMMMENT ABOUT THE HEAT-MISER:

"I kinda had the hots for the Heat-Miser." (from the look the HM is giving her, the feeling is mutual.)

You heard me. (Again, HM seems to echo Alice's sentiments.)

Are you judging me? Love is love, man. Don't act like you don't have any forbidden love skeletons in your closet! (Uh-oh, HM's famous temper is flaring...)

One phone call to Misey, and you are sooooo toast.

YEAH, Baby. Burn 'em. Burn 'em all!


AND LASTLY, THE COMMENTARY ON SNL'S "HANNUKAH HARRY", PLAYED BY JON LOVITZ. THIS IS THE POINT IN THE INTERVIEW WHEN I BELIEVE THAT ALICE WAS ATTEMPTING TO BEND THE INTERVIEWERS TO HER WILL THROUGH CAREFULLY CONTROLLED EYEBROW MANIPULATION.

"...crappy-a** presents..."

Ahhh...you don't appear as impressed as I would like. Well, how many people do you know who can arch their eyebrows THIS much? Not many, I bet! Hold onto your hat, now, and prepare to be blown away.

Yeah, here we go.

Huh? Huh?

Ohhh-HO! Didn't see this comin', didja? Puttin' on the lip-English now!

You got something to say now? Do ya?

Didn't think so! Punk. I can arch these babies right over the back of my head if I have to, and you don't want none o' that.

Of course, everything in italics was unspoken (not to mention unthought) by Alice, and is purely a product of my lame imagination. Great job, Alice--all the women of blogdom are wishing we were half as pretty with half as great a presence and melodious voice as you!



Click here & vote for JenB in the "Personal Blogs" category--vote every day!

12 comments:

  1. i want to marry alice. and thanks for the glipse into the show, since i am in the tundra and don't get no Bravo.

    you are awesome.

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

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  2. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Okay, that was just great. I saw your comment at Alice's that you were going to post screenshots, and then I saw that the name of your site is ninjapoodles.com, and I said to myself, "Self, how could you *not* go see what this woman has to say?"

    I particularly enjoyed the eyebrow challenge--thanks for the recap, hilarious!

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  3. Finslippy is just the greatest. I hope she doesn't murder me for doing this. I just think she's so darned adorabIe, you know?

    And if you couId meet the poodIes...weII, you'd understand. They ARE ninjas. Not the best ones, but stiII.

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  4. WOW.

    Belinda, you don't have these pictures of me in any kind of subterranean chamber, do you? If not, carry on.

    And I'm sorry, no one looks in good in freeze frame. No one.

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  5. now just hold on a second, i think i'm definitely have as pretty as alice bradley, comedy writer. although ym voice is certainly not melodious, to that i confess.

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  6. H--Hee, hee...which half? I figured it up, and I am 37% as pretty as her. I'm working on it.

    A--And OK, maybe we don't look our BEST in freeze-frame, but I defy anyone to say you're not just ADORABLE! (backing away slowly while bowing and averting my eyes in Her Royal Presence)

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  7. I'll have to admit I'm not familiar with Finslipy, but I have it bookmarked and will be checking it out. Thanks.

    By the way - I'm going to tag you tomorrow. ;-)

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  8. Trust me on Finslippy. She's the queen.

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  9. i vote for jen everyday and the message with the 'totals' comes up, all cleverly disguised so you have no freaking idea who's winning. really, what's the point of all that programming??!!

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  10. A first-time visitor says: Thanks very much for posting this, because I really wanted to see her and there's no way that the show will ever appear on German TV. You have earned a few karma points!

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