Oh, Steve. I think I love you, and at the same time, pity your wife immensely. She must be one heck of a woman, is all I have to say.
Got some time on your hands? Need a pick-me-up? Or to induce vomiting? Please visit the "Steve, Don't Eat It" archives. Spoiler alert: He always eats it. I went for the silkworm pupa snacks, but I stayed for the infected corn and prison wine. I will never look at the silk fibers I use in my soap, or moldy bread, or a dirty sock the same way again. And neither will you.
Profanity and immature scatological humor abound--you've been warned. It's the price you have to pay for sickening hilarity.