Saturday, October 08, 2005

What We Need

I have spent many entertaining minutes playing around with this little exercise spotted on Sweetney's blog. The instructions are: Open the Google search engine, and enter this two-word phrase, in quotation marks: "Myname needs". Copy down the first however many you want to for chuckles aplenty. I had to force myself to stop at 15. This was really fun!

1. Belinda needs to reschedule vacation, come back, then tell them to pound salt...(I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to start saying it: "Go pound salt!")
2. BELINDA NEEDS A MAKEOVER!!! (Yes, the CAPS and 3 exclamation points were there already.)
3. I can do the updates that Belinda needs. (Well, that's a relief! Now if I can just find this person...)
4. Belinda needs a theme! (Another exclamation point. Any suggestions on a theme for me?)
5. Belinda needs all the heavenly help she can get. (AMEN. Keep praying, please.)
6. Belinda needs a focal point. (Well, DUH.)
7. Belinda needs assistance providing white paper. (To WHOM? And yes, I have very little white paper, so I DO need help providing it!)
8. Belinda needs our help. (I do. I DO! I need ALL your help! Help me!)
9. Belinda needs to be moved to a smaller, less important Ministry. (Obviously, because this one's a total cock-up.)
10. Belinda needs to look at a Demographic Profile to understand that neighborhood's make-up in more detail, but she'll do that another day. (Yes. Fiddle-dee-dee, that is definitely a project for another day. Whatever it is.)
11. Belinda needs money back. (YES! Give me my money back! All of it! Even if it wasn't mine to begin with!)
12. Belinda needs family. (Got that one covered, and boy, do they know I need them!)
13. Belinda needs to rest, not get herself worked up. (Will try to comply.)
14. Belinda needs to release her potential. (*sigh* If I hadn't heard that so many times in my life, it might be funny.)
15. Belinda needs more than that. (Oh, so much more. If only you knew.)

And you just KNOW I had to do Alex's, too. His are every bit as excellent, if not better than mine.

1. Alex needs you! (More than Uncle Sam, even, and he promises not to send you to Iraq!)
2. Alex needs your help. (All your help! Rally together, now.)
3. Alex needs to qualify himself as a management candidate. (Great. Now he's going to be lording it around here, exercising his "management" skills.)
4. Alex's needs are serious and ongoing. (No comment.)
5. Alex needs Rooney. (??? Mickey? Andy? Someone else entirely? And what on earth for?)
6. Alex needs intellectual and emotional effort. (Boy, howdy.)
7. Alex needs my patience and love more than ever. (I will keep that in mind, considering #6.)
8. Alex needs a hole cut in his stomach, and a tube to pump in food. (Um, we'll probably get a second opinion on that one.)
9. Alex needs to hear the Gospel. (Can I get an "AMEN"?)
10. Alex needs ready access to useful resources and planning. (Everyone makes yourselves, and your resources, available. Be ready when Alex calls on you.)
11. Alex needs as much stability as he can get right now. (No argument here.)
12. Alex needs to know what real pain is. (Are we talking emotional or physical?)
13. Alex needs to do something--and quickly. (Yikes! Hurry! Do it NOW!)
14. Alex needs to freak out. (Um...NOT. Trust me.)
15. Alex needs to read the book. (I'll say! Get with the book-reading! The movie's never as good.)

C'mon, play along. You know you want to! Find out what you need, and post your list, or a link to your list, in the comments. Wheeee!


  1. That was cool, I did mine. I don't know how to make a link to get to my list from here, but, as my #1 "need" says, Michelle needs your help. So help me, already!

  2. I did mine, but stopped at "Elizabeth needs to get on with her life". Geez, what are they trying to tell me?!

  3. Evidentally, having a very unusual name precludes your needing anything. I put in my English name because nothing came up in my real name. These are my needs:

    Marjorie and her completely volunteer staff need to raise $200000 a year (to give to Marjorie's family, who could easily live on that money)

    Marjorie's spring water bottles have arrived and she needs help to move them all into the greenhouse in her garden. (But first she needs you all to help her build said greenhouse)

    Marjorie needs to bathe the twins (this was prophetic as I do have twins and they do need some help right now with bathing, like being reminded to get in the damn shower and wash their respective pubic areas!)

    Marjorie needs list of all PIs who have JISAI something or other. (I have no clue as to what this means, but I do like needing a list of Private Investigators, just because)

    Marjorie Fair’s debut album needs self-help (no commment needed)

    When Marjorie needs a mechanic to instruct the Red Cross volunteers on... (I need a mechanic to rebuild my car and turn it into a Porshe Carrera)

  4. The Girls is MUCH better. I'll share it with you in email.

  5. I did mine - I skipped a few that were kind of cryptic. A few turned out to be funny. Oddly enough I had 2 about shoes which I do need!

  6. I've done mine in my blog, but couldn't resist doing Luke's ...

    - Luke needs a Yoda. (Don't we all?)
    - Luke needs glasses. (He doesn't! We had him tested! Whee!)
    - Luke needs 24-hour residential education. (Eep, fat chance.)
    - Luke needs to understand exactly how democracy works. (Give the kid a break, he's only two. Well, three tomorrow, so I suppose we should start the civics lessons.)
    - Luke needs to learn. (Oh, he is, he is.)
    - Luke needs socks (We're coming up summer, so I'd say he'll be fine in sandals for now.)
    - Luke needs to read more Lutheran stuff. (He's doing the ABCs right now, how about we tackle theology readings _next_ week?)
    - Luke needs a family in which he feels truly loved and cared for (He got one!)
    - Luke needs a healthy back (Got one of those too! Isn't this a lucky kid?)
    - Luke needs obedience training (We're working on it, but he keeps balking at the hula hoop of flame.)
    - Luke needs to put on a goodly amount of weight (Working on that too - you should have seen him tuck into fish & chips the other night. I have no idea where he puts it, the skinny monkey.)

  7. That IS a good one! I didn't to Bella's name, but now I'll have to.

    Yes, Luke needs to learn about democracy...while it still exists. What I wouldn't give for a parliamentary system like in the UK right now. We could clean house in a matter of weeks, if we could get enough people fired up.

  8. lol
    "Erin needs to wear shirts" was the first thing that came up!

    So much for having any secrets on the net!

    I did my husband's, he was amused by "Scott needs nude models!"

  9. Erin, it would seem that yours and Scott's needs are mutually exclusive, no? Too funny!

  10. I got this email from someone at work, so I typed in my name (which also is Belinda) and up came "Belinda needs Ninja Poodles!"


  11. Awesome--and you do, you DO! ;-)

  12. wow so many Belinda need ninja poodles because I am another Belinda that what came up for me too!

    Our name isn't common so it is a bit weird!!!