Saturday, October 01, 2005

Simmonses Overheard

Overheard Around Town

Very attractive mother/daughter duo; 30-ish daughter, 50-ish mother:

Mother: "OH! I heard something interesting on TV this morning. Richard Simmons has a new clothing line that Dillard's is going to start carrying..."

Daughter: "Yeah?"

Mother: "Yes, and it's called...oh, I can't remember..."Fat" something?

Daughter: "Baby Phat?"

Mother: "No, that wasn't it..."

Daughter: "Phat Farm?"

Mother: "Yes! That's it! And it's jeans and things...(daughter begins dissolving into hysterical laughter) and he's supposed to make an appearance at the store...with his wife? Can you believe he's married?"

Daughter: (Shrieks with laughter) "MO-OM! It's RUSSELL Simmons! And his wife is Kimora Lee.... What kind of clothing line would Richard Simmons put out, just a bunch of tiny striped shorts and tank tops?" (she's still crippled with laughter)

Mother: (Also laughing at this point) "Oh, well that makes a LOT more sense. I was trying to listen to the TV from another room, and I couldn't figure out why in the world Richard Simmons would be so insensitive as to make a clothing line called "Fat Farm", or how it was possible he was married!"

They continue on their way, still cracking up. I don't know how long it took them to stop laughing, but it has to have been quite a while.

This whole exchange begs the question: Who would YOU rather have dressing you?

Consider your options carefully;
I know it's a difficult decision.
Billionaire music/fashion/poetry jam/etc. mogul, or greased-up lunatic in a 'fro and tiny shorts? Think long, and choose wisely. UPDATE: Click on Russell's picture for a look at his clothing line. I think you'll be surprised.

Hey, at least it wasn't Gene Simmons, right? Now, that would be a fashion travesty.


  1. Oooo, tough choice! Nobody MY size wants to be wearing Phat Farm clothing, but if the other choice is sequined tank tops and little satin shorts, I have to go with the Rapper duds. At least they come in extra huge for that "I'm swimming in my clothing" look. Right?

  2. HaHaHaHAAAA!!! Thanks for an excellent belly laugh this morning! How old is Richard Simmons, anyway? I saw a TV clip of him visiting Hurricane Katrina victims wearing his tank top and shorts. What is wrong with this man? Seriously, when he's at the aerobic studio, fine, but does he not own any regular clothes?

    I'll take the Phat Farm clothes too, nice and roomy!

  3. And surprisingly, a lot of the PF stuff is kinda preppy-looking. Plus you never have to oil yourself up and swing from a rope. My favorite Richard Simmons moment was years ago on Letterman, on Thanksgiving, when he came out dressed as a turkey and kept trying to hug Dave, and chasing him around, until finally Dave blasted him with a fire extinguisher. Ahhhhhh. Rich humor.

  4. Very Funny! That made my night!

  5. hee hee, I thought you were talking about Gene Simmons till you put the pictures up! I'm like the mom in the story :-)