OK. So football is like algebra to me. I have the vaguest concept of the purpose, and the goals, but it's a frustrating game for me, largely because they just cheat all the time! I am constantly asking Alex, "Can they do that?" To which he will usually reply, "Sure, if they can do it without being seen by the referees." "But is it LEGAL?" I will cry. "Well, of course it's not legal", he'll say. Well, this makes me nuts! I could understand the game so much more easily if the players actually played by the rules.
Anyway. (homage to P&T) Some game or other was on TV (isn't some game or other always on TV?) Sunday, and there was a controversial play that was being shown over and over, from every angle, in agonizingly slow-motion. The controversy seemed to be over whether a guy (I don't know the positions, so I'm not even going to try to call him anything but "a guy". He coulda been some kinda "back" or "end" or "guard"...from where I sat, he was the guy running with the ball) on the team playing offense had gotten the ball across the goal line before being tackled and pulled back behind the goal line. It looked like he did, to us.
Me: "Does that count?"
Alex: "Yes. If any part of the ball gets over the goal-line while he has possession of the ball, it's a touchdown."
Me: "Even if the player doesn't cross the goal-line?"
Alex: "Yes. If any part of the football crosses that goal line while the ball is in the player's possession, it is a touchdown."
Me: "Even if you drop it after that?"
Alex: (sighs deeply) "Yes."
Me: "Even if you drop it back behind the goal line?"
Alex: (exasperated) "YES. IF IT GOT ACROSS THE GOAL LINE WHILE IN YOUR POSSESSION!"
Me: "What if--"
Alex: "Look--once you have gotten any part of that ball over that goal line without fumbling it...the ball could get inexplicably sucked up into the stratosphere, then into outer space, light-years away, to another planet, where it is eaten by an alien, and then the alien could get on his intergalactic spaceship, fly directly back to the earth football stadium, and POOP the ball out directly onto the 50-yard line...THE TOUCHDOWN IS STILL GOOD."
Me: "All right. I was just asking."