Monday, October 03, 2005

The Bella Files: Songs, Powder, Wigs...But No Opera

Installment One: My daughter wakes up singing fairly frequently. Usually in fragments, but today's was especially cute, and a whole little song, and complete with choreography of sorts. The tune was "Frere Jacque", and the lyrics were these (actions in parenthesis):

Is a kid!
Is a kid!
She wants to hug and kiss you;
Wants to hug and kiss you;
Hug (squeeze), hug (squeeze), hug (squeeze)!
Kiss (smooch) kiss (smooch) kiss (smooch)!"

Next: I'm on the phone with Alex, and Bella speeds off, chattering to Delta. I figure they're playing ball. This actually is pretty funny in itself. Bella holds the tennis ball, and has Delta sit: "Sit, Girl!", then down: "Down Girl!" Then she throws the ball as hard as she can, and Delta usually catches it before it hits the ground. When Delta brings the ball back, Bella says, "Put it down ('day-own')", which Delta does, and Bella says "Thank you." Every time. She also blesses Delta when she sneezes, which never fails to crack us up. ANYWAY (blog zeitgeist word of the moment), while I'm on the phone, I hear a door shut. A minor "uh-oh" alarm goes off in my head, but I finish my conversation, then go to the bathroom door...which is locked. (Bigger internal "uh-oh".)

"Bella! Open this door right now!"

"Umm...jus' a second, Mommy" (Another "uh-oh" in my head, and the sound of clanking glass in the bathroom, then a clunk on the counter.)

She unlocks and opens the door, and Delta runs out, having heard the driveway alarm that signifies to daughter and dog alike that DADDY'S HOME, HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE BE. I immediately detect the delicate aroma of Chanel No. 5 bath powder...lots of it. I can't see a lot of it on her, but she smells Chanel all over. Kinda nice, actually. And I can see where she's moved the poodle powder decanter. So we go outside and meet Daddy, and my Mom, who was giving him a ride to pick up his truck from being serviced, and all commented on Bella's sweet scent. Delta and Reggie had run outside with us, and I called them back in. That's when I discovered this:
What you see here is a pitch-black standard poodle who has been liberally powdered. In Chanel.

And who apparently feels "pretty" for the pampering. So I get the powder off the dog, flush out her eyes just in case, and she's no worse for wear, and she smells lovely.

Lastly: Bella has, during the clean-up operation, retreated to the bedroom where she is doing her best to be cute and charming. I say, "Bella, what in the WORLD am I going to do with you?"

She shouts at me (and I swear I'm not making this up), a la David Letterman:
"HANG ON TO YOUR WIGS AND KEYS!!!" and then dissolves into maniacal laughter.

Please send help.


  1. Remember when I said (1000 times), "I just hope you have one just like you"? Well, it's payback time! Who could be upset with a child this beautiful who smells like Chanel #5 (my lifetime fragrance)? Certainly not her grandmother!

    Enjoy, my darling daughter. What goes around........

  2. I LOVE Bella! It's her big, beautiful eyes-cute and charming indeed! But "hang on to your wigs and keys"? I'm afraid she lost me there. Any idea where she got that from?

  3. Yes, I am fully aware that this is the fulfillment of the "maternal curse". In its fullest.

    "Hold on to your wigs and keys" is a David Letterman thing that he says on his show a lot, and when we sign on to our internet account, instead of the "computer guy", we have Dave, who says, "Hello! Please hold on to your wigs and keys!" Then if you have mail, he says, "Hey, Skippy, you've got mail!"

  4. Hmmmmm....I think I see a pattern in three-year-olds and the being bad in the bathroom thing. Did you not have any band-aids in the house?

  5. oh my God, your daughter has Oscar winning actress all over her!
    (ps, love the southern accent - day-own).

  6. OH MY GOSH.
    Thank you, thank you, Bella for the morning chuckle.

  7. I LOVE YOUR FAMILY!!! and! i'm going to powder my dogs RIGHT NOW cuz they smell like a combo of fritos and spicy ass...

  8. The mothers curse-I am hearing that frequently-as my own oh so cute 5 year gives me his snappy remarks just like Bella's that you can't help but laugh at. Kinda ruins the point of being mad huh? My mother has actually begun to look forward to my calls that start with, "you will never guess what he did THIS time...".

    I love all the stories. It's nice to hear them from some other parents!

  9. Nita, it is common knowledge that dogs' feet smell either like Fritos or popcorn. Most poodles have popcorn feet. The fact that so many poodle owners know this, and have discussed it, shall not be brought up again.

  10. Bella puts the Band-Aids all over HERSELF.

    And the Southern drawl...we had no idea how very Southern we sounded until our child began speaking. Yikes!

  11. OK my 5th child is now 2, and I've never had the bandaid experience. Although, once when my oldest son was 2ish we went to my mother's house, and after a moment-too-long of nice quiet conversation, found him in her bathroom sticking maxi pads all over everything, including himself.

    He also ruined one very nice cocoa colored couch with baby powder...

    And it's definitely something in Bella's big blue eyes that makes her so adorable!

  12. let me assure you that you also sound very southern. :-)

    and bella is strikingly beautiful, seriously.