Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Two Things

First of all, I may have stumbled onto a fabulous money-making opportunity. The Google ads that appear in this sidebar (and on Google search pages, and just about everywhere) work by scanning the content of your text, and putting up ads for relevant products. Genius. If you've ever noticed, though, there are two categories of Google ads that aren't exactly honed to perfection. These are the ones for booksellers, like Amazon, and the ones for eBay. They just plug whatever your context word is into a form ad, so if you're searching, say, iPods, you'll get Google ads that say "Find iPods on eBay" and "Find books about iPods at Amazon." You get the drift.

So I posted the other night about Bella's bedtime tantrum. Ever since then (you may even be seeing it now), the Google ads on my sidebar have been for parenting websites, child behavior books...and this one, which I dearly love:

"Temper Tantrum--Great deals on Temper Tantrum--Shop on eBay and Save!"

I AM GOING TO BE RICH.

"Temper Tantrum" is apparently a marketable product, and I seem to have an endless supply for the forseeable future. The Child can earn her own college fund! I am going to start putting up for sale ads right away...I'll start the bidding low to engage interest. My only quandary is how to ship the Temper Tantrum? I'm guessing it would have to be in an airtight container, lest it lose any of its fury and annoying capabilities en route to its new owner. The demographic for Temper Tantrum is wide open, too. Empty Nest Syndrome? Buy some Temper Tantrum and you won't be so sad! Getting sentimental because your kids are growing up too fast? Buy some Temper Tantrum and revisit those younger days. Impressionable teenagers, facing intense peer pressure to be sexually active? Buy a LOT of Temper Tantrum and lock them in their rooms with it as a form of pre-emptive birth control...heck, I could cross-market Temper Tantrum as "Abstinence Enforcer".

So if you need some Temper Tantrum, you know where to go. Don't bother with eBay, just contact me directly. I will hook you UP.


In other news, I have a new favorite Google search that brought someone to this site. It refers to this post of mine, and hey--it's such a bizarre search that I am in the #2 position on Google! Whoo-Hoo!! And whoever you are, searching for the crappy slippers, I hope you come back! Be my friend!

9 comments:

  1. hahahahaha! Hilarious post to kick start my otherwise drab a.m.

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  2. Heee!

    I've read another blog that deals with bread making. So the eBay ad that shows up says buy new and used artisian breads...Used bread???

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  3. HA! I Googled "crocodile" last night and got the same thing. No thanks!

    We should all form a corporation for the Temper Tantrum.

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  4. i'll totally take a temper tantrum! make that 2!!!

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  5. Nita, would you prefer the "don't want to go to bed tantrum", the "don't want to get out of the tub tantrum", or the "You're just all pissing me off so I'm going to scream interminably tantrum"? Or a nice melange?

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  6. i like the wiseass tantrums, you know, when she's saying snarky things about you!!!!

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  7. All right. I'll bottle up some of those, and try to catch the next one where she's COMMANDING the sun to come up.

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  8. You'll be rich? Too soon to ask for a loan ?maidink flashes big smile with raised eyebrows

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  9. Absolutely. The day I hit the jackpot, I will be magnanimous to all those who have pleased me.
    ;-)

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