Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Subterfuge

Bella is sick with the allergy junk today, and I'm still....whatever I am. So this morning, we were both cranky and a little groggy and out of sorts, and looking a little scary. Well, I looked scary. She just looked a little rumpled and frowny and snotty. At about 9:30, we heard the driveway alarm go off. Bella ran into the kitchen to look out the big window there, calling out, "Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" I peeked out and recognized the elderly Jehovah's Witness couple who circulate this area every so often. I grabbed Bella by the hand, and, as any reasonable person would do, ran back to the bedroom with her to hide until they got tired and went away.

The front door happens to be right next to the giant bedroom window, so it was a race. Fortunately, these folks walk slowly, and the bedroom blinds were already closed. So I got Bella into the bedroom, muted the television, and whispered conspiratorily to her, "OK, we're playing a game. We have to be quiet and HIDE." This is what I had in mind: I should have been able to predict her response to this, cooperative child that she is...it was to RUN to the window, grab the blinds, pull them apart a good foot and a half, and holler, "WHO'S HERE?" All my attempts to pull her away and quiet her were met with more noise and resistance. Finally, I said the magic words, "dinosaur game!" and got her attention, and started pulling up the internet page where you can match up dinosaur parts.

This hushed her up, but by that time, the JW's were onto us.

These people are tenacious. They must have knocked on the door 11 times, and waited at least 10 minutes before making their slooooow way back to their car and leaving. Got to teach the kid about subterfuge. At this rate, she'll never make it at Quantico.

6 comments:

  1. oh you poor thing - so close and to be given away at the last second. Though I feel bad for those poor JW's - why does their religion make them do that? How can you handle so much rejection?
    Quantico, huh - I live about 10 minutes from there.

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  2. What site matches the dinosaur parts?

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  3. VG--I KNOW, and these are the same people who have been coming around since I've lived here, almost 10 years. Um, I was a Baptist the FIRST time they came, and every other time they've managed to "catch" me...do they think that one day I'm just gonna say, "Hey, where do I sign up?"

    Leslie--it's just this simple little thing that she can click to change parts of the dino's body, at the top of the page here:
    http://www.enchantedlearning.com/Slidedinosaurs/Slidedino2.html

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  4. I generally can talk to anyone about anything, and have interviewed thousands of people from all walks of life. However, proselytizing religious zealots wear on my last nerve.

    A couple of years ago I was doing some much needed work in my front yard flower beds, when saw the JWs working their way through our neighborhood. As I waited for them to close in on me, I formulated a foolproof plan of retreat that would prevent them ringing the doorbell causing my dogs to bark.

    As I saw them make their way to the house before mine, I went inside and put a PostIt note on my front door that said, "BABY SLEEPING...DO NOT DISTURB." Then I watched from the top of the staircase as they stood at my front door, struggling with their dillemma. Should they ring or knock, possibly waking a baby? Or should they just go away?

    (BTW, my "baby" was 15 yo and at school.)

    They left, but were persistant. They circled back several times during the day. Each time I saw them coming, I went inside...but left the note on the front door. To their credit, they never knocked or rang the doorbell.

    My friend has a different approach. She doesn't avoid them at all, but throws her door open with a wide and enthusiastic welcome. However, she lets her friendly poodles leap, bark, and jump all around the visitors in a display of unbridled happiness. Then she invites her visitors inside for refreshments. Not a single one has ever taken her up on the offer!

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  5. OMG, I have SEVEN overly-friendly poodles, including one big ol' jump-up-on-you standard! Thank you for passing on this bit of genius. Alex has ALWAYS wanted to open the door looking/acting as if he is in the middle of some satanic ritual, and say something like, "Oh, good...now we may complete our sacrifice to the Dark One."

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  6. I happened to be at her house one day when a teenager dared to knock on her door to sell candy bars.

    She threw open the door, and 4 standard poodles and 1 mini charged. The kid leaped off of the front steps and vaulted a mature English boxwood shrub. He never got to give his sales pitch, and he never looked back.

    I was bent over double laughing as she said, "I guess he really didn't want to sell me anything...."

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