Friday, September 30, 2005

Only In The South

First of all, let me just say, I'm a Southern Living magazine, FoodTV junkie. I love looking at recipes and trying to balance nutrition with flavor in planning meals. I even like watching someone prepare something I'd never make...like Emeril, whose food we love, having eaten The Best Meal Of Our Lives at his restaurant in New Orleans, "NOLA". But Emeril's recipes, as those of most Southern cooks, are designed to KILL you. I've known this for years, what with the deep-fried everything, the hamhocks, the very much butter and eggs and cream in every dessert, and the breakfasts during which you can feel your arteries hardening.

As such, I should not have been very surprised to see the full-page ad for the following product in the current issue of Oxford American magazine*, but somehow, I was. It's the Bacon Of The Month Club. That's right. I gotta wonder if their ads appear in The New Yorker magazine. I rather doubt it. Of course, in those New York delis, you will be served sandwiches so stuffed with cured meats that, in order to complete them(in the words of the late Mitch Hedberg) you'd need a loaf of bread and several more people.

Even knowing all this, I had to HOWL when my Memphis buddy (another "freakin' POODLE person) Melissa forwarded me this recipe from Paula Deen's FoodTV show. It's called Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding With Butter Rum Sauce. She's had it, and says it's the dessert equivalent of crack. (I doubt very much that Melissa has had any personal experience with the consumption of crack, but the analogy was hers, not mine.)

Just a preview of ingredients (if you want to make this dish, and you've had a recent cardiac workup, the entire recipe is linked above) to give you an idea--This smallish dish contains a couple dozen Krispy Kremes, condensed milk, eggs, butter, confectioner's sugar, and RUM, among other things. For when deep-fried, sugar-glazed donuts are just NOT DEADLY ENOUGH.

*If you do not get Oxford American magazine, well...you should. It's good writing, good photographs and other art, and good reviews, especially of first novels and other literature you might not stumble across in the mainstream. The current issue, the music issue, is worth the price for the included CD alone.

16 comments:

  1. ho.lee.crapola. that would actually kill you. but it is damned brilliant. she's that fat lady, right?! yowza. at what point do you give up so hard that you start experimenting with krispy kreme and liquor. dayyam.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She's a little big--she's the white-haired lady with the heavy accent and the hunky sons. I just can't imagine ADDING any calories or fat to Krispy Kreme donunts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think the recipe on paper would be enough to put a diabetic into a coma. I wonder which is actually more dangerous--Krispy Kreme Krack, or the street stuff? I can't imagine eating it, and yet, I'm strangely drawn to it....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, *I* can imagine eating it. So can Alex. Southern cooking is the best in the world, but it wants you fat and dead.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ouch. My teeth hurt. Now I know what I'm about to say is fighting words, but heck, I like to live on the edge. Here we go:

    I don't like Krispy Kreme donuts. They are too sweet. I had one once, when they first opened a store in CA and everyone raved about them. Took both kids. One loved them, the other was like me and tossed it in the garbage.

    Now, Dunkin Donuts... those babies I could eat a dozen of and not even feel gross. Man, I love those. One of the great things about where we live is that we have TWO DDs within easy walking distance. Good for sending a teen to get an emergency fix and a large iced coffee.

    Bacon of the month club, eh? I highly doubt that would appear in Kosher Living.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahhh, DessertCrack. You must get your hands on some Dutch Stroopwafels. Split waffle bicuits (in the cookie sense, not the bizarre-bland-savoury-scones sense) with a gooey caramelly syrup filling.

    Lara

    ps is there any way to disable this "word verification" business for comments? I'm logged in with a password, why does blogger.com require a word verification also?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I should donate my Southern Living subscription to you. I don't cook, for the most part--I don't know what we eat around my place, but seriously, I hardly ever do anything that could be considered real cooking, and when I do, it's always from a book titled something like "Quick and Easy Meals," or "Meals with 3 Ingredients," or something incredibly simple and unfancy. My grandmother-in-law, bless her heart, gets us a subscription to Souther Living every Christmas. I don't even crack the magazine open; just toss it straight in the recycle pile.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Karla--I had to take to my fainting couch with some smelling salts at the very thought of a crisp, new "Southern Living" going straight to the trash. At least take it to your doctor's office, or something! Laws-a mercy!

    Lara, I hate the word verification thing, too. But when you turn it off, you get tremendous comment spam. I have to do the same when I comment on a Live Journal blog. The reason you have to do it even though you're logged in is that the spammers got smart enough to register and *then* send their spambots out. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh man, bread pudding made with raised doughnuts, may I stop by? We used to say, as we stood at the doughnut glazer in my bakery, eating sevral warm and perfectly glazed rings, or cinamon twists, or get this, cream cheese filled doughnuts...."this is better than sex". And this is when I was in my 30s! Thanks Belinda! Ric

    ReplyDelete
  10. that's no good belinda :/ I wonder why you can't require only logged in blogger comments _or_ word verification, but not require both? I never have to use word verification on LJ at all, but get no comment spam there (with the "log IPs" option turned on). If it was a real word I wouldn't mind so much, but typing a long string of random comments is just a PITA. Ah well.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I know, it sucks. They're supposed to be working on it. The spammers are *registering* with blogger, and then sending out their spambots. Several of us have made the recommendation to the Google folks, and they've been pretty responsive generally to suggestions from users. I agree about the random letters. One service, can't remember which, has just a plain word, a real word, clearly typed. Another has a field that will say something like "type the letter 'D' here".

    You're the only LJ user I visit that I don't have to do the "verify you are a human" thing...and if you think the Blogger letters are hard to read...try those sketchy things on a grey background!

    I even have to do the word verification to post comments on my own blog.

    ReplyDelete
  12. There's something funny going on then - I haven't had to word-verify to post in any of my friends LJs, that I can recall. Can you point me to one that does require it? Going to check this out...

    Lara

    ReplyDelete
  13. Usually on Michelle's and some others...not Leslie's, I don't think. I'll have to try some at random and see. What happens is, you hit "post", and it goes through, then you get an "error" screen that has your message on it, and it has a little grey (like TV interference, splotchy) box, with a random letter/number sequence. I have to do it twice lots of times because it's hard to read. I'm sure it's because I'm "anonymous". I've thought about getting a LJ account just so I won't be anonymous!

    ReplyDelete
  14. oh, ok! Yes, it only takes a second to get an account - would probably be easier for you?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm a little late in the comment trail, but, Doughnut Bread Pudding? OhMyFuggingGawd (as the drunk would say) that is heaven on earth, and just reading about it added 5 inches to my already ample hips.

    ReplyDelete