Saturday, September 24, 2005

Oh, The Love...(TMI Warning)

I just mentioned to Alex how terribly constipated I am today (since the bowel surgery, it's common--my life is a delicate balance between Benefiber, enemas, and Lomotil). He immediately responded, "Oh, hey, I got something for you," turned around, and came back with THIS: Thank, you, dear, for your concern, but, um aside from the horror of the idea of a home colonoscopy, THAT THING HAS SPIKES. Ha, ha, good one, Darling. If you do visit the "Zip-It Clean" drain cleaner website, from the link above, please do click on the "Best Clog Ever" page. I can't stop shuddering. The reason Alex bought the thing is that our bathroom sink has been stopped up, and, well...that shouldn't be. So we rightly assumed that Bella must be shoving stuff down there. So far we (and as usual in situations like this, by "we" I mean, "Alex") have recovered: cotton balls, macaroni, an adult-size toothbrush, and a mechanical pencil. That's my girl.

In other news, we're experiencing some tornadic activity in the state (is it wrong to so enjoy a word that means something so terrible? Tornadic), and flash flood watches, so we're hunkering down. I'm very shallow, because my biggest concern right now is that it will storm here badly enough that the satellites for both our modem and our DirecTV go out. I am a woman of depth, no?

I'm going to try to accomplish something visible now, because my lollygagging is still equal to Alex's actual WORKING. Oops. Have I mentioned that he's a GIFT FROM GOD?


  1. How thoughtful of Alex! If that thing can get a mechanical pencil out of a sink drain then surely it can get your body, uh, moving again. Although I must confess that just from looking at the picture and the name of the product I thought he was being snarky and telling you to "Zip It" because he didn't want to hear about constipation! I apologize for confusing him with Dr. Evil! :)

  2. I've been noting that Little Rock falls in the path of the de-hurricaining hurricane - stay safe!

    That sort of looks like a toilet snake, but made of plastic. Alan hasn't tried anything yet...

  3. i didn't know 'tornadic' was a real word :)

  4. Elizabeth--He is truly the Man Of A Million Laughs. Sometimes they're only for him, but right now I'm not complaining about ANYTHING. He is Thor, come down from the mountain to give my life order. He is my HERO!

    Leslie--we had a huge t'storm and a TON of rain. I'm sure my barn is totally flooded, but other than that, we're OK!

    Nita--It IS a word, it IS! Isn't it just great? Don't you want to work it into every conversation now?

  5. If I dream, I seldom remember anything about those dreams. Been that way for a long time. Last night, as I took my bedtime pills, I realized that I had only one Benedryl capsule left in the bottle, and I usually take two. Not so much for the sleepy-time effect, but for the kitty allergies, since I have several cats that bunk with me. I knew I had another bottle somewhere, but couldn't quite remember, and my knee hurt, and I was already sitting on the bed, and I had one, surely that would get me through....see where I'm going?

    Yeah, well, within a few hours I was seriously congested. Blocked, and having some trouble breathing. And someone, looked suspiciously like Alex, as I remember, was trying to remove boogers from my nose with...the THING.

    Just wanted you to know I read your blog and dream about your husband, okay? And now I have this headache....

  6. Was Jennifer Aniston there> And if so, was she black and hitting on Alex?

    Funny, I have a lot of headaches too....