Thursday, September 22, 2005
In Which My Husband Is MAGNIFICENT
I gotta give it to him. Get Alex in just the right mood and into a pair of Playtex Living Gloves, and that man is a cleaning machine. A tornado. Mr. Clean, but without the ambiguously gay vibe. He cleaned today, for hours on end, with the vigor of a Tasmanian devil. Whereas I, by contrast, performed about 1/5 of my single assigned task, with the vigor of, oh...let's say a banana slug. I have possibly seen too many Hitchcock movies, but I did have a moment of slight concern when I saw his pre-housecleaning shopping list: rubber gloves, large contractor trash bags, bleach, rope, shop towels...until I got to the Cascade and the air freshener, I was a little worried. I mean, I have been a handful to deal with lately.
We still have a lot to do, in which I will have to actually participate, over the next couple of days, but Alex made an amazing start, and for that, I am forever grateful to him. Tomorrow, I have many poodles to clean and clip, and much bedroom to clean, organize, and clear stuff out for donation. And the lovely scrubbing of the bathroom. Can I say I really hate this? I really hate this. And I'm kinda hating that Alex is so much better at sticking with it than I am. But hey, at least he's sticking with me. He is my helpmate. Ain't that Biblical? I'm thinking that, technically, I'm supposed to be his, but it works both ways, right?
Men, let me just tell you a secret about your women. Bring them flowers? Very sweet and touching. Candy? Again, a thoughtful gesture, and depending on her emotional state, possibly contains an element of self-protection, especially if it's fine chocolate. Take her out for a night on the town? Shows your spontaneous side, and even better if you plan everything ahead of time and she has to make no decisions beyond what to wear. BUT--take it from me--clean the house that you and your woman share? Mop the floors, scrub the toilet, dust vacuum, etc., all without being asked...and you are elevated to the Mount Olympus of ROMANCE. That's right, in ALL CAPS. ROMANCE. Try it and see if I'm not right. There's no way you're not getting rewarded for that. She will, as I am about to do, at LEAST watch "The Outlaw Josie Wales" with you without complaining. At least.