Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Aluminum Underpants Revisited

Well, I feel like somebody now. I like to look at the logs of traffic for this site, and see how people are getting here. Especially those who get here through search engines, 'cuz I'm pretty sure they ain't lookin' for me. But sometimes, even though my site is obviously not their intended destination, they come anyway. And for that, I love them. Two of my recent favorite search engine visitors were someone using Spanish Google to search about crankbaits (and I apologize for your certain disappointment, Spanish-Speaking Crankbait Researcher), and someone searching for "how to make a home made ninja suit".

But today's search beats all, so far. Someone found their way here by Googling "aluminum underpants". My site came up because I wrote a post titled "Aluminum Underpants" (see how that works?). I don't know who this person is, but I think I love him/her. Not just for letting me know that someone out there is looking to educate themselves about and/or procure aluminum underpants, but for leading me to this bit of legislative wonder:

"In July, Colorado House Bill 01-1221 became law, banning aluminum underpants. Its purpose is to discourage shoplifters' using them to get past electronic detectors, but the law does provide an exception that allows people to wear them if they can prove it's for a "personal" reason. [Denver Post, 7-1-01]"

Did you get the best part of that? You can get an exemption from the aluminum underpants ban if you can prove you wear them FOR A "PERSONAL" REASON.

I would now like to open the floor for speculation as to possible "personal" reasons for the wearing of aluminum underpants. Obviously, this discussion can not include any form of shoplifting, because that would be wrong. Discuss. Please. If ever you were going to leave a comment, now is the time.


  1. sadly, i have nothing to add about aluminum underpants. except maybe.."ow."

    HOWEVER, i was looking at MY stats yesterday and someone ended up at my site by googling "Reasons to Live" which was one of my subject titles. i remember thinking, "sheesh, i really hope they aren't seriously looking at MY site for an authentic reason to keep living. especially given my latest entry."

    i just can't live with that on my conscience!

  2. OMG--hopefully they got a few laughs and cheered up. Yikes. You could post pics of your totally depilatated leg, that might give someone the strength to go on.

  3. Remember your Daddy's occasional reference to someone's "rusty butt?" Obviously, this person would have a personal need for aluminum underpants!


  4. Ah, I see...because they don't rust! Ha!

  5. so that the ALIEN BEAMS can't get to your GONADS, of course!

    Or they may just be observing Aluminium Underpants Day, as observed by Timmy and Greg in the Big Brother AU house last week.

  6. All right--MODELS! I'll have to put that on the front page with a link to the BB it came from. Thanks, Lara. Oh, and just how much danger ARE our gonads in from Alien interference? Do I need more duct tape?